“How long have you been trick riding?” I ask her.
I’m desperate to know everything about her, but I don’t want to come on too strong and scare her away. I wonder if she gets hit on a lot after her show, and my hands curl into fists at the thought. She’s too young, too innocent to be fighting off unwanted attention from sleazy assholes.
“About a year,” she replies, her voice soft and sweet like the rest of her.
Her words are pleasant, but the look in her big blue eyes tells me there’s more to her story. So much more. I want every secret pain, every hidden tear. I want to collect her smiles and figure out what makes her happy. But for now, I’ll settle on a date.
“I should get to the stables,” Pia says after a few moments of silence.
Damn, I suck at making small talk.
“I need to put Penny back in her stall.”
“I’ll walk with you. If you don’t mind,” I hurry to add.
“Um, sure. You aren’t allowed into the tent for liability reasons.”
She gives me a stern look, resting a hand on her hip. Goddamn, she’s adorable and feisty and so fuckingmine. It pains me not to have my hands on her right this second.
I nod, and Pia starts to lead Penny over toward a tent nearby. This side of the circus is so different from the front side. There are no flashy lights or loud sounds. It’s mostly deserted, with just a few tents for animals and the other acts.
It seems a little lonely, especially when it’s deserted and the rest of the carnival is going on in the background. I can’t picture someone so young and bright living here.
“Do you like working here?” I ask her.
Pia looks away from me, her eyes wandering over to Penny. It’s obvious that she loves her horse and would do anything for her.
I will not be jealous of a horse,I tell myself sternly. It’s not working.
“It’s a job,” my girl finally says. Her small voice speaks volumes. She’s far too young to feel trapped in her own life.
“There are other jobs,” I tell her softly. I watch her face closely, taking in her wide, doll-like eyes, delicate cheekbones, and tiny nose, turned up slightly at the end. Pia’s brow furrows, but then she forces a smile to her lips. It’s hollow.
“Not ones that cover a stable and all of the other costs that come with owning a horse. I only have a high school diploma, and I can’t find anywhere else that pays well enough to let me keep Penny and also feed myself.” Round eyes blink up at me, a hint of panic swimming in their crystal depths. “I don’t know why I told you all of that,” she murmurs, looking like she wants to hide behind the nearest beanbag toss game.
“Because I asked,” I say gently, giving her a smile. My girl is skittish, but she needs to know she can trust me. I want all of her words. Every last one. She’ll soon find out I’m greedy like that.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that she never has to worry about money or working again, that I’ll take care of her and Penny. I know that it would only freak her out. We just met, and she has no reason to believe or trust me. Not yet anyway.
“And you bring up a good point,” I continue, not wanting Pia to feel awkward or embarrassed. “I didn’t think about the costs of horse maintenance.”
Pia hums in the back of her throat, nodding along. “It’s not so bad. I don’t have to worry about bills or food. The circus takes care of all of that.”
“Are your parents here too? Do they have an act?”
Pia’s face drains of color, her shoulders sagging as she breaks eye contact. I never want to see her like this. I have no idea what I said.
“Uh, no,” she whispers. “They, um…” Pia takes a deep breath before blowing it all out in a rush. “They died in a car accident last year.”
My chest caves in at her confession. “Pia, I’m so sorry.”
She nods, but I can see the tears in her eyes. Jesus, it hurts seeing her in so much turmoil. I react without thinking and pull her into my arms. She tenses for a second but then wraps her arms around me too, sniffling into my chest.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I murmur as I rub her back.
She clings to me, her little body trembling against mine. I want to lift her up and carry her back to my hotel room so I can kiss away each and every one of her tears.
Pia whimpers and nods, falling apart in my arms. “It still hurts,” she squeaks out.