He seemed genuinely upset, maybe even a little hurt that he woke up without me. But that’s what people do after one-night stands. Or so I’ve heard.
Gavin wasn’t so convinced that it was a one-and-done situation, and while everything in me wanted to jump in his arms when he said that, the lingering doubt in the back of my mind kept me from believing him.
I’ve had my life uprooted in the blink of an eye before, and I barely recovered. What would I do if I quit the circus and followed Gavin back to LA? I wouldn’t have a job, and no way of paying for Penny’s expenses, so I’d be completely at his mercy. And when he inevitably gets tired of me, because why wouldn’t he, I’ll be homeless, jobless, and broke.
Penny neighs, the sound almost disapproving, like she doesn’t want to be my excuse for bailing on Gavin. I give her a look, then take out her brush and begin the calming, familiar routine of getting her ready for the first show of the day.
I talk to Penny about my jumbled thoughts as I continue brushing her shiny coat. She stands patiently, nodding every once in a while as I chatter on.
“I want to believe him, Penny, but how can I? We barely know each other.”
Penny snorts, then shifts on her hooves, letting me pick up her right front one to clean.
“Fine, we do know each other,” I concede.
Truthfully, I feel like I know him better than anyone in my life. It’s crazy though, right? The memory of meeting his eyes in the crowd that very first night rises to the surface, reminding me how Gavin has made me feel safe and seen from the moment he saw me. He pretty much told me as much before I ran away earlier today.
“He seemed sincere in his declaration,” I say, testing the waters with Penny.
I don’t get an answer to that, and I sigh as I move on to the next hoof.
“Do you think I made a mistake by pushing him away?”
She nods her head, making me roll my eyes.
“Seriously, Penny. Can I trust him?”
Another nod, this one accompanied by a tail swat and snort.
“Gavin did say horses are good judges of character,” I muse, chewing on the inside of my cheek.
Penny nuzzles against my outstretched hand, comforting me with the sweet gesture. I pause, wondering if I should really take her advice. Am I that far gone that I not only talk to my horse but go to her for life’s big questions? Apparently so.
“Are you ready, Pia?” my boss, H.T. Knight, asks.
I turn to nod at him. “We’re ready,” I tell him.
He grunts in approval before ducking out of the tent.
He’s already in his ringmaster outfit, and I hurry to finish my makeup. I’m already wearing my leotard for my routine, and I try not to wince as I stretch a bit. My body is sore in places I didn’t even know existed after everything Gavin did to me last night.
My body flushes, warming with the memories, and I bite my bottom lip as I try to get my body under control. His firm, owning grip as he sank into me over and over, his soft lips on every inch of my body, his ragged breath in my ear as he succumbed to his pleasure…
You’re about to go perform in front of people! You can’t be getting turned on before that!
I look down at my hardened nipples and wonder if people will just assume that it’s from the slight chill in the air today.
My name is called, and I grab Penny, leading her into the big tent. I paste a smile onto my face as I lead Penny into the center of the ring. I signal to her and she starts to trot around the edge of the circle.
I raise my hands in the air, posing on the little stand in the center of the ring as the crowd cheers. I scan the faces blankly, not paying too much attention to the crowd until I land on his face.
My eyes widen slightly as I see Gavin in the stands. His eyes are locked on me, and my heart falters in my chest at the hungry look that I see in his eyes.
Why is he still here?
I blink a few times, trying to focus, but I can’t seem to look away. Gavin’s gaze turns from ravenous to something more tender. Something close to love, as insane as that sounds. Blue eyes tear me apart, begging me to listen to him, to believe that he wants me for good.
The music changes, signaling the start of my act. Gavin gives me a small nod, releasing his hold on me so I can get through the next twenty minutes. The stern, determined look is still etched on his face, and I know we’ll be talking after the show.