“And since your husband isn’t here to kick me out, I thought I’d come make amends in person.” Zilla smiled at me, and I remembered that girl with the Coke cans beneath the willow tree with an ache so pure it took my breath away. “Are you mad?” Zilla asked in my silence.
“No.” I practically ran across the deck to hug her. “I’m sorry we fought, too. And I’m so glad you’re here. Are you cold?”
“No. This fire is kinda amazing, if I do say so myself,” Zilla said. I felt the heat all along my side and realized she’d pushed the chairs back so she wouldn’t roast. Don’t say anything, I told myself. Every fire doesn’t have to circle back tothatfire.
“Are you hungry?”
“No. I’m fine. Just... sit with me.”
I sat beside her in the cushioned love seat. We sat facing each other. Both of us with our legs tucked up, an arm stretched across the back of the cushions.
“Hey,” I said, not wanting to think about my sister and fires. “Remember that summer we practically lived under the willow tree?”
“Of course. We were feral.”
I laughed. “Do you remember the day with the Cokes?”
“And the skinny-dipping?” Zilla laughed, her face lit up by the fire. “I’ll never forget your bare butt running out to that pond. I could not believe you were doing it.”
“Me neither, frankly. I blame the pop.”
“Whatever lets you sleep at night.” Zilla laughed. “But I always thought you were a little more wild than you let on. You just needed a reason.”
I thought of Ronan and the way he made me feel. Like I was touching a part of myself that I never knew existed. Like a lost moon.
“Dad was pissed,” Zilla said.
“What are you talking about? Dad never found out.”
Zilla looked at me, earnest and serious, clear and focused. “Of course he did, Poppy,” she said almost like she pitied me. “The housekeeper told him everything we did that summer.”
“What? Why didn’t he say anything? Or do anything?”
“To stop Mom? To take care of us? I have no idea. But the skinny dipping got placed firmly on my shoulders, and I got spanked. For real.”
I blinked, searching through my memory for some proof of this. But there was none. We swam. Went inside and ate turkey sandwiches. I finished readingTwilight. Zilla fell asleep in the recliner, snoring in the heat.
“That night,” Zilla said. “When Dad came home. He called me into his office.”
“But why didn’t I get in trouble too?”
“Because I said it was only me. And he believed me.”
“But it was both of us.”
“Yeah, I know, dummy. I was protecting you. I know that seems inconceivable, but I’ve done things too, you know. To take care of you. To make sure you were okay.”
The fierce edge in her voice made me sit up straight. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh don’t look so scared, Poppy. Nothing dramatic. I’m just saying some things are worth the consequences.”
I thought of Ronan and had to agree.
“Where have you been?” Zilla asked.
“In the city,” I said with a sigh. “I’m taking the executive director position at the foundation.”
Zilla’s eyebrows hit her hairline.