The music had stopped.
I jolted, opening my eyes at the sound of Annika’s wheelchair approaching.
But before I was fully awake and could rise to my feet, she was upon me. She halted before me, her gaze seeking mine. And as I quickly bowed my head, it struck me that my hood had fallen askew while I’d slept. I snagged the side of the hoodie, quickly pulling it up over my face, my heart thumping wildly. How much had she seen?
Fear rushed up, choking off my air.I’m not ready to let her see me. I don’t want to scare her away so soon. I need to prepare myself first.
“I know you’ve been avoiding me, Adrik. But I want us to be friends. I felt a special connection with you that day when you sat at the piano with me.” Her voice was soft, gentle. “Most people don’t get me the way you do and I’ve missed spending time with you. I’ve given you space the past few days, but I don’t want to anymore. Can we still be friends? Can you stop hiding from me?”
She thought we had a special connection?
Thump-thumpwent my heart.
Could we still be friends?
I would takeanythingthis woman gave me. Any-fucking-thing at all.
“Of course. Yeah.” I heaved out a sigh. “I’m sorry I’ve been a dick.”
She tried to catch my eye, but I wouldn’t look at her. Icouldn’t. I didn’t know what, if any, of my face she’d just seen. So, I kept my head lowered, trying to spare her from having to see anymore. Even Tim’s pep talk hadn’t prepared me for this moment. I knew once she saw my face, everything would change. And I wasn’t quite ready for that.
“Adrik.” Her voice was soft, coaxing. “If we’re going to be friends, then you need to stop hiding from me. I want to see you. Please.”
I stilled. “That’s not a good idea.”
“Why?”
I heaved out a sigh. “I told you, because you won’t like what you see.”
“You keep saying that, but how do you know what I like or dislike? I already like the man you’ve shown me. You’re kind and gentle and patient and sincere. How will seeing your face change that?”
Panic wrapped around me. I made a strangled sound in my throat. “Trust me, it will changeeverything.”
“I won’t let it,” she promised, her words vehement. “I want to get to know you better. You’re like this mysterious creature hiding behind that hoodie. I want toseeyou. Toknowyou.”
I blew out a breath and hung my head.I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. She’ll run. She’ll shun me. I can’t bear it. I can’t.
“You know what?” she said. “I’m not going to force you. If you’re not ready, fine. But I do want to tell you a story about me that I hope you will think about. I hope it will give you some insight into my character. Not very many people know the story I’m about to tell you. But I want you to know it because Ilikeyou, Adrik, and I think it may help you to understand me better.”
“O-o-kay,” I murmured, my voice unsteady.
She sent me a gentle smile, then puffed out a breath. “When I was eight years old, I was kidnapped by a crazy man who thought I was his daughter. He had a badly scarred face. He locked me in a closet and brought me food and dolls and dresses and things.” She paused, a faraway look entering her eyes.
I recalled Timofey telling me years ago that’d he’d heard Annika had been traumatized as a child. Was this what he’d be referring to?
“The man had been injured in a bad car accident,” Annika went on quietly. “His daughter was with him in the accident, but she died. He couldn’t take the pain of her loss and refused to believe she was dead. He saw me with my mother at the store one day and was convinced I was his daughter. I remember there was a huge crowd that day that made it easier for him to get past our guards and snatch me up. He kept me for almost a week before my family finally found me and got me back.” She paused, lifting her gaze back to mine. “I had nightmares for weeks afterward.” She paused. “But then I started to play the piano. My mother had a friend who was a piano teacher, and she suggested the piano might help me overcome the trauma. She said playing the piano relieved stress and bolstered self-esteem. She was right. It’s also very calming and relaxing. And it worked. I began playing at age eight and haven’t stopped since. The piano not only helped me, it became my salvation. Whenever I have a bad moment, I go to my piano and play until I work it out of my system.”
I sat in contemplative silence after she finished her story. Annika had revealed far more than I ever would have anticipated. Far more thanIhad shared with her. Shetrustedme with her story, and that humbled me.
I understood what she was trying to tell me. That she was stronger than I gave her credit for. That a few scars wouldn’t frighten her away, not after what she’d endured as a child.
I swallowed hard.
But what if I was wrong in that assumption? What if when she saw my hideous face, she was reminded of the psycho who’d kidnapped her?
I closed my eyes and expelled a long breath.
Annika waited, not speaking. Then, cautiously, she said, “I promise seeing your face won’t change a thing, except that I’ll know what you look like, and then you won’t have to hide behind the hood anymore. But if you’re not ready, I understand.”