“Sure did. He was Cole’s best friend.”
“Did you come to our house?” Paisley asked.
It was questions like this that gave Hailey a ping of worry. Children had no concept of time or space, so they made sense of the world however they could. She needed to be careful, ready to untangle concepts too big for little minds.
“No, but he came to mine. And I remember one night, I couldn’t sleep, so I came downstairs to find a light on in the kitchen. It was your dad. He’d helped himself to a midnight snack… And by snack, I mean a whole feast.”
Paisley giggled. “Daddy ate so much food.”
“He had a whole spread on the kitchen table, and when I walked in, he said…” Trevor gave a chin nod and used a surfer voice to say, “S’up?”
Cole burst out laughing. “Are you serious?”
His dad nodded.
“How did I not know this?” Cole asked.
But Trevor seemed lost in his memory. “We must’ve stayed up for an hour, just eating, talking…hanging out.” He broke out in a soft smile, looking like he was right back at that kitchen table all those years ago. “He showed me some snowboarding videos he’d taken. He thought the world of you. He really did.” And then he seemed to snap out of it. “He was a good man, your dad.”
The fire snapped and crackled, Christmas carols played quietly in the background, and Cole set his warm hand on Hailey’s ankle. She knew they were both steeped in memories of their easygoing, red-haired friend.
This moment of connection…between all five of them…it was just so powerful. Before, when she’d referred to them as a family, she’d immediately regretted it, but Cole hadn’t freaked out at all. Because he felt it, too. How could he not?
Every day, she tried to tamp down the hope that burbled under the surface. But like a dandelion breaking through a crack in the sidewalk, it kept breaking through. And now she knew why. Because it was real.
Theycouldbe a family. And wouldn’t that be amazing? If they adopted the girls together, she’d get to feel this sense of deep satisfaction for the rest of her life.
But not once had he even hinted about anything long-term. Sure, he wanted to be with her. But whenever they talked about the girls, it was always temporary.
Why do you do this to yourself?It was so hard for her to just stay in the moment, enjoy this time for what it was.
She had to stop thinking ahead and focus on their one goal of giving the girls a great Christmas.
It hurt to stomp down the hope, but she had to do it for her own sanity.
This is all you get.
“Okay, keep going. More memories.” Hailey lifted a red felt stocking. “We’ve got to fill this sucker.”
The day before Christmas, it snowed all day, giving them a chance to go outside and build snowmen. When they’d finally come inside, Cole had taken their wet clothes to the laundry room while she’d gotten started on breakfast. Knowing how much Evvie loved herfaffles, she’d made the batter, thinking that maybe tomorrow morning, it’d be nice to have cinnamon rolls.
And that’s when she realized she was doing itagain. Because she was thinking about starting traditions—waffles on Christmas Eve and cinnamon rolls on Christmas Day.
She’d wanted to smack her head against the marble countertop.
What was the matter with her? Why couldn’t she get it through her thick skull?
There wouldn’t be any traditions.
She had to stop this.
This wasn’t her family.
Trevor had come for breakfast, and when Cole was busy getting the girls dressed for the day, they’d talked about presents. He’d still seemed flummoxed by the idea of homemade gifts, so she’d shown him the unfinished collage she’d been making for his son. Since her only source of pictures came from social media, Trevor had offered to let her sort through his boxes of photos from Cole’s childhood.
So, they’d left him with the girls and headed over to Trevor’s home.
And guess what? It was just as much of a showpiece as his son’s. Which was no surprise for the highest-paid actor in the world. A wonder of steel, glass, and river rock, it had a different, more rustic vibe than Cole’s home, but it was just as over-the-top in every way.