“That might be the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”
“What? Why? The only things I’ve ever done involve jumping off cliffs, falling out of the sky, and flying around on ice with blades under my feet.”
“Oh, come on. You’ve researched grief with children, you’ve joined a parenting forum, you’re talking to a therapist…you’re doing everything you can for these children. Cole, you’reexactlywhat these girls need.”
She didn’t know what she was saying. “I told you what happened to Booker.”
“And I toldyouit wasn’t your fault.” She turned fully to him. “I’m going to speak for his parents the way they should have done ten years ago. Cole, we were really scared about what happened to our son, but he’s okay now, and we’re sorry for shutting you out the way we did. You didn’t do anything different that night than you and my son did any other time you’d gotten together, but I guess it finally caught up with our boy.” She touched his shoulder. “It’s okay. We’re all okay.”
She might not be Booker’s parents, but he sure felt the power of forgiveness.
It was good to hear—damn good.
But did she think she could relieve him of his guilt, and then he’d somehow be fit for these girls?
Because it didn’t work like that. At some point, he’d take things too far, and someone would get hurt.
He cared too much about them to do that to them.
Later that night, Cole squeezed toothpaste onto Evvie’s brush. “You have a good day?”
She nodded.
“Sorry you spilled your cocoa.” He tipped her chin and opened his mouth wide to show what he needed her to do. “How about we get another one tomorrow? There’s a chocolate shop in town that makes the best you’ve ever had in your life.”All three years of it.He marveled at her sweet innocence and, once again, could notbelieveDarren had entrusted him with his beautiful, perfect children. He brought the brush toward her mouth, but she angled away. “Come on. The sooner you’re ready for bed, the sooner we can read books.”
Her chubby cheeks looked a little more flushed than usual. And—oh, shit—was her bottom lip trembling?Is she going to cry again?What happened?“Hey, hey, hey. What’s going on?”
For a long moment, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Should he say something? Do something? He could hear Hailey in the other room, and he wanted to call for her.
But he didn’t have time, because Evvie looked at him and asked, “Why Mommy not want to come home to me?”
Cole broke. His heart shattered. Tossing the toothbrush onto the counter, he pulled her into his arms and rocked her, one hand on the back of her head. “She does. She wants to be with you. Evvie, sweetie, your mommy loves you more than anything.” If he did nothing else in his six weeks with these girls, he had to make them understand. Flipping the lid down on the toilet seat, he sat, holding her shoulders as he looked into her watery eyes. “Listen to me. If your mommy could be here, she would. There’s nowhere else in the world she’d rather be than here with you and Paisley. But your mom and dad died in a car accident. They went to heaven, and they can’t come back.”
A single tear spilled down her cheek. He didn’t know if she understood—well, of course she didn’t. How did anyone come to grips with death? But he kissed it away, tasting salt, loss, and an all-too familiar loneliness. She fell against him, and he hugged her. Burying his face in her hair, he breathed in her baby shampoo scent and wished he could make the world right for her.
“They love you, sweetheart. Never ever doubt how much they love you. If they could be with you, they would. But they can’t, and that’s why they sent me and Hailey. We’re here to take care of you.”
Jesus,if he’d listened to his coach and gone back to Boston, he would’ve missed this moment. Evvie might’ve gone to sleep believing her mom didn’t want to come home to her.
She’d have more thoughts like this, and who would be here to correct them? It happened in these quiet times and with people she could trust.
He wanted it to be him. Itshouldbe.
But his team needed him, and he couldn’t risk the damage he’d eventually do to them.
And so, his only choice was to find the right forever home.
He just wished it wasn’t so damn complicated.
With the girls in bed and Hailey at the Petticoat Rulers Christmas party, Cole went to his room to watch the replay of tonight’s game. They’d lost badly, and the guys were pissed off.
He pulled up the group chat of assistant captains.
Cole: Hey fellas. Just like you’ve been doing all year, I’m going to need you to step up and get us to the playoffs. I trust you and know the team has the right group to lead them. Come on. Let’s fuckin’ do this.
He took some time to respond to his demoralized front line, his coach, and his trainer.
And then, he did something unexpected. He texted Jaime.