“They do.” After a quick glance at the girls, she lowered her voice. “But right now, they’re on vacation. We’re just another stop along the way of where they wind up. How many passes before they stop opening their hearts and trusting?”
It was like missing a step, that shock of sensation ricocheting through his body. Because it had happened to him. With each babysitter, nanny…even his dad’s girlfriends who tried to be a mother to him. He couldn’t say when it had happened, but he’d lost interest in getting to know anyone. He’d stopped trying.
“I hate this so much.” Her eyes glistened, and her bottom lip wobbled. “They’re such good, sweet kids. They deserve the best life. And I just don’t think we’re the right ones to give it to them.”
You sure the hell are. But he had no answers, and he couldn’t bear to see her upset. “It’s too soon to know anything right now. All we can do is try to find them the right home. And once they’re there, we can stay in their lives. Wearethe godparents. We’ll always look out for them.”
“You’re right.” She touched his arm—just a simple brush of skin—but it was like making eye contact with a rock star—a pinch to his nervous system. “Thank you. You’re good at calming me down.”
“Well, I’m in a lot of high-pressure situations. If I lose my shit, I don’t score goals. But I’ll talk to the PI tomorrow, and in the meantime, we’ll give them the best damn Christmas they’ve ever had.”
Gratitude welled in her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re in this with me.”
He let out an awkward laugh. “Never thought I’d hear you say something like that.”
“Well, you’ve changed a lot since high school.” The way she gazed up at him…was that…admiration?
It fucking was. Somehow, it knocked down the gate, letting all the longing and yearning his teenage heart had felt for her flood in. Countless times, he’d dreamed of her hands on his body and kissing that sexy-as-fuck mouth. He’d wanted to see those hazel eyes filled with love and lust.
But he’d never understood until this moment that what he’d really wanted was her respect. He’d wanted her to like him.
As much as it meant to him, though, he knew it didn’t count. She just didn’t want to be alone in this impossible situation. He had to remember that and not get carried away. He took a step back. “Hey, so, I came up here to ask about dinner. Should I order in? Take them out?”
He’d startled her with the abrupt change in conversation. She looked confused…almost hurt. “Uh, well, they’ve just had a bath. Probably better if we order in.”
He watched the kids take turns pouring water over each other’s heads, their blond hair glassy, flattened against their backs. “What should I get?”
“I don’t really know. I haven’t been in Calamity in ten years, and when I was, I didn’t eat out all that often.”
“I meant what do kids like? Burgers?”
“Ask them.” She sat back down on the toilet lid. “Or just get whatever you ate when you were their age.” She picked up her phone. “While you’re doing that, I’ll order groceries.” She turned her attention to the girls. “Hey, cuties. I’m going to get some stuff for breakfast. What do you like?”
Evvie looked up, eyes bright, cheeks rosy. “Faffles.”
“Waffles, cool. I like them, too. What else?” When neither answered, Hailey asked, “Do you like juice, milk, or water?”
“Milk, please,” Paisley said. “Mommy wants our bones to be big and strong.”
“Smart lady. How about eggs?”
As they created a list, Cole kicked himself for shutting her down. He’d had a genuine moment with her, one where she didn’t hate him, and then he’d ruined it.
Why couldn’t he relax around her?
ChapterFive
As Cole headed downstairs,pain flared in his knee, so he sat in a club chair. He had to be better about staying off it. Yeah, he was here to get the kids set up, but he also had to use the time to heal.
Scrolling the food delivery app, he had no idea what to choose.She said get them whatever you ate as a kid.Fine. He clicked on Harley and Lu’s Emporium, a gourmet market that sold prepared foods, and ordered enough to last a month. Which was good. The more he gave them now, the less guilt he’d feel when he left.
His phone had been blowing up for hours, so he took some time to check in with his teammates. They had an important game tomorrow, so mostly, it was the guys begging him to get back on the ice.
Half his brain was focused on responding to his teammates, his coach, and his trainer, and the other half was listening to the squeals and chatter coming from upstairs, wishing he hadn’t cut Hailey off. She probably thought he didn’t give a shit, that all he wanted was to get out of there.
Couldn’t be further from the truth.
Finally caught up, he was left with only a couple of unanswered messages.