“I can’t think of a single woman in the Petticoat Rulers who used her husband’s money to create her success,” Knox said. “And believe me, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. Whatever it takes. But I think fear’s holding you back, and I want you to know we’ve all felt it, and we’re here to help you through it.”
Hailey probably should’ve been embarrassed for making such a lame assumption about these talented, strong women—of course, they’d done it on their own—but they were all kind, and nothing they said felt judgmental. She felt comfortable enough to tell them the truth. “You’re right. Iamscared. It’s the way I grew up. My mom’s a costume designer, and she goes from one gig to another. We’ve had to live off people’s generosity more times than I can count, and I’m…”Just say it. “I’m terrified to go without. I need food in my refrigerator and a roof over my head.”
“You don’t have to run your business like your mom,” Glori said. “We’re not suggesting you ‘trust the universe’ to ‘manifest’ what you want in life.”
“Wait, do you know my mom? Because that’s exactly what she says.”
“Oh, she’s not so unique,” Glori said gently. “Look, you can only do what you’re comfortable doing but just know youcantake calculated risks. You don’t have to follow your mom’s example.”
“But I’ll tell you one thing.” Knox held up a robe. “You’re going to kick major ass with these. I’m one-hundred percent sure of it.”
“And we’ll help you any way we can,” Rosie said.
It all sounded so good. “I appreciate you guys so, so much, but the thing is, I don’t know if I’m staying in town. I work in New York.” Even if Abbott’s went out of business, she needed to stay in the city where she’d be sure to find another job.
“And if you don’t?” Rosie asked. “Will you raise the girls here?”
Anxiety rippled through her. She hadn’t yet dealt with the news Cole had dropped that morning, and she wouldn’t think about it now. She stayed focused on the conversation. “That depends on whether I can work remotely.” She hadn’t heard back from her boss about her ideas for the new lines. Given the holidays, it wasn’t surprising, but it kept her up at night. She needed her income and benefits.
Part of her would love to stay in Calamity and be part of the camaraderie these women shared. Not for a second had they made her feel like an outsider. Hell, she’d met them a week ago and already, they’d babysat for her.
Had she ever had a friend outside of Lindsay who was so supportive?
And as far as raising kids…of course she’d choose Calamity over New York City. But that might not be an option anymore. She couldn’t avoid it any longer. She finally had to deal with the news she’d shoved to the back of her mind so she could function and get some work done.
She took in a breath and slowly let it out. “We heard from the PI.”
The women tensed.
“He’s found the biological mother.” Saying it out loud hit like the crack of a tree right outside the bedroom window.
“Oh, wow.” Knox looked as shaken as she felt.
“I know.”
“What do you think about that?” Rosie asked.
“I don’t know. We don’t have enough information.” And if she let herself go there, she’d spiral. She’d go over every possibility under the sun. Cole had urged her not to wait until they had details.
One step at a time.
“Do you want it to work out with his mother?” Knox asked. “Or areyoutheir forever home?”
Am I?Every cell in her body screamed,Yes, yes, yes.I am. But her emotions were too high. Her instincts were unreliable right now. “I don’t know. I want them to have the best life possible, but I don’t know if that’s with me. And if Darren’s mom is able to take care of them—I mean, maybe she went on to have more kids, and if the girls have siblings, cousins, aunts, then that’s a gift I can’t keep them from. What do I have to offer compared to a big, happy family like that?”
“It’s all right.” Rosie gave her arm a squeeze. “No need to start rolling out the what-ifs. We’ll wait until we have more information.”
But now that she’d started talking, she couldn’t stop. She’d been holding it in all morning. “It’s just that Lindsay asked me to raise them. She chose me. If they’d wanted their babies with biological family, that’s what they’d have done. You know what I mean?” She gave them an imploring look. “She chose me.”
All three women regarded her with such compassion, it allowed her to comb through the tangle of emotions. Lindsay and Darren had made the will after they’d fallen out of touch with her and Cole. So, they’d known what they were doing—they’d assessed all possibilities and still landed on them.
Getting that off her mind cleared some space, and now she could see the real issue. “I’m invested. Wholly and completely.” The tension in her body eased. “They’re so…I can’t explain this connection I have with them. I mean, maybe it’s nothing more than a sense of protectiveness. I only know I’m desperate to help them feel safe and secure, to make up for the giant loss of their parents.”
“Or maybe it’s because you’ve fallen in love with them,” Rosie said. “They make it pretty easy.”
Well, look at that. It seemed she hadn’t found the real issue at all. Rosie had. “Oh, I do. I really do.”I love them. I love them so much. Why was that so terrifying?
Because I might not get to keep them.