Trystan scratched at his jaw. “I’m not entirely sure.”
“I thought you and Lowen used to be close.”
“We were. And we talked about pretty much everything … just not his grandparents. It was kind of a sore subject. It caused some conflict between him and Jago when they were teenagers.” He frowned as he gazed out to the horizon. “Jago was jealous of all the travelling Lowen did. Money was tight when we were growing up, but Lowen got to spend his holidays travelling in first class and being taken on fancy shopping sprees … it caused tension. I guess in the end he decided it was best not to talk about it.”
“He must have had a tough time, losing his grandparents close together and then your dad …”
“He went a bit weird after his grandparents died. I think he felt guilty for not seeing much of them in the years before they died. He was caught up in work and life. I guess you always think you’ll have more time.” Pausing, he exhaled slowly. “I’d like to say the inheritance softened the blow, but I think the money caused him quite a lot of stress. When Dad died he completely lost the plot. He moved to Bryher and hid from the world.”
“It’s really sad. All that money and he’s miserable.”
Trystan stretched his neck. “Can we change the subject now?”
“Sure.” Beth nestled her head on his shoulder. “But I’m afraid I’m going to have to change it back to the packing I should be doing.”
“I can stay here with Ellie if you want to go and pack in peace,” Trystan offered.
“That would be great. Thank you.” She dropped a kiss on his shoulder, then called out to Ellie to tell her the plan.
Putting her bucket down, Ellie came over and plonked herself on the towel beside Trystan. “Can we go on the train today?”
“I think we probably can.” Trystan checked his watch. “We’ll have to hurry to make it in time.”
“You can give me a shoulder ride,” Ellie said. “Then we can go quicker.”
He grinned at her. “You’re full of good ideas, aren’t you?”
Beth forced herself to ignore the knot of anxiety in her stomach at the thought of how much they were both going to miss him. After collecting up the beach things and waving Trystan and Ellie off, she headed to the house to face the packing. The task was about as depressing as she’d expected. She’d just managed to squeeze everything in the case when she checked the wardrobe once more and spotted her mum’s ashes stashed on the top shelf.
During their week in Peswera Cottage, scattering the ashes had been on Beth’s mind almost constantly. The fact that she’d hardly thought of them since meeting Trystan made her think that they’d both needed someone to prop them up. She’d kept his mind from his break-up and he’d been the perfect distraction from everything she’d wanted to avoid thinking about. Now she was going to have to figure out how to move forward with her life without his support.
After staring at the urn for a few minutes, she abandoned the packing and wandered out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Not bothering with shoes, she walked barefoot through the garden and onto the lane before dropping down onto the beach. She still had no clue which beach had been her mum’s favourite, but she absolutely knew which hers was.
That would have to do.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
For the briefest moment on the deserted beach, Beth felt completely at peace. She twisted the lid of the urn and was all set to let the ashes go when she happened to glance around. Her gaze lingered on Peswera Cottage, then swept over to Mirren’s house, looming up on the headland. With a racing heart she returned the lid to the urn before sinking to sit on the sand.
She’d lost all track of time when Trystan called out to her.
“Don’t worry,” he said as he strode across the sand. “I didn’t lose Ellie. She wanted to help Kit wash the train. He said he’d bring her back afterwards.”
“Ellie will like that,” she said.
His shoulder knocked against hers as he sat beside her. “Are you okay?” Following her gaze to the urn, he let out a sympathetic sigh. “Did you …?”
“No. I was about to, but …” She trailed off and shrugged.
“If you’re not ready, you should wait. One day it’ll feel right.”
“It did feel right.” She pushed her hair from her face as the wind pulled it around her. “I don’t know which beach was Mum’s favourite but I know this is mine and I thought that was good enough. I think Mum would approve.”
“What stopped you then?”
“You,” she said, her forehead crinkling to a frown. “I looked back at your cottage and realised that I don’t know what’s going to happen with us. Wherever I scatter Mum’s ashes should be a place that I want to come back to time and again, but what if this place ends up being somewhere I’m not comfortable coming back to?”
The silence that hung between them felt loaded.