“I know I’m being irrational.” Idly, she scooped up a handful of wet sand and rubbed it through her fingers. “But now that Ellie’s having swimming lessons I’m worried she’ll be over-confident. Her healthy fear of the water was quite reassuring to me. What if she suddenly thinks she’s a strong swimmer and gets into trouble?” Too late, she remembered how Trystan had lost his dad. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive.”
He gave a dismissive shake of the head. “Growing up on an island, we were taught water safety the way other kids are taught road safety. It’s drummed into island kids and it’s taken seriously. At the kids’ club they teach the kids how to stay safe. They know not to go in the water alone. Usually the kids take the rules more seriously than adults. I can see why you’d worry though.”
“Thank you.”
“What for?”
“Not dismissing me as a neurotic mother.”
He leaned a little closer, dropping a kiss on her shoulder. “Kit got really involved at the lifesaving club right after Dad died,” he told her. “He already volunteered there, but he really threw himself into it after that. His way of coping I think. Trying to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to anyone else.”
“How old is Kit? He’s got such a baby face, but he must be older than he looks.”
“He’s twenty-two.”
“Okay, so he’s not older than he looks. It must have been so hard for him, being so young when your dad died. Hard for you all, obviously, but even more so for him being so young.”
“Kit really has his head screwed on right. He’s coped with everything amazingly well.”
“He has a great family around him,” Beth said. “That makes a difference.”
Trystan glanced over at Ellie before pressing a soft kiss to Beth’s lips.
* * *
After spending the following morning obsessively checking her phone, Beth decided she couldn’t take it any more. Hastily, she made enough sandwiches for two and set off to Peswera Cottage.
“I thought you might have time for a lunch break,” she said, holding up the plate of sandwiches when Trystan opened the door. Realising he had his phone to his ear, she grimaced. “Sorry,” she whispered.
Smiling, he ushered her inside and mouthed that he’d just be a minute before sitting at the kitchen island and scrolling on his laptop while continuing to talk business on the phone. Beth put the plate down and quietly poured them each a glass of water.
“I can go again,” she whispered to Trystan, pointing at the door.
He shook his head, not breaking the flow of his phone conversation.
“Sorry about that,” he said, when he’d wrapped up the call a couple of minutes later.
“I thought you might be ready for a lunch break, but I can just leave the sandwiches if you’re busy?”
“Don’t do that,” he said, slipping his fingers into the waistband of her shorts and pulling her between his legs to kiss her. When he pulled away, she looked at him seriously.
“I’m going to sound horribly needy,” she said, her fingers stroking the fine hairs at the back of his neck. “But I’d hoped we could spend some time together while Ellie’s in the kids’ club. Is there any chance of you taking a morning off this week or do you have too much to do?”
“I can take a morning off.”
“Are you sure? Don’t feel you have to.”
“I’m sure.”
She should probably leave it at that, but she knew she’d drive herself crazy if she didn’t tell him what was on her mind. “I kind of got the feeling that you might be using work as an excuse not to see me … I don’t know why. Maybe I’m being paranoid, and I really don’t want to seem clingy but I just had this feeling that maybe you were avoiding me …”
His eyebrows twitched together. “You weren’t being paranoid.”
“So youwereusing work to avoid hanging out with me? Am I being too full on? You can just say if I am, it’s fine.” Actually, it wasn’t fine at all. If he said she was being too intense, she’d struggle to keep her emotions in check. She wanted to spend every minute of the day with him and that made her vulnerable in a way that terrified her.
“I wanted to spend time with you … I just …” He paused and dragged his hands through his hair. “After I got Kit to sign Ellie up for the kids’ club, I panicked that you’d think I was trying to get her out of the way so I could get you to myself.”
“That never crossed my mind.”