He tapped the countertop. “I met someone this summer, while I was on St Mary’s. A woman was staying at Mum’s place with her daughter and we got close.”
“You got close to the daughter?”
“No. Sorry, that was a bad explanation. The daughter’s five years old. I got close to her mum, Beth. We had a thing …” He trailed off, not entirely sure how to describe it.
“A fling?”
“Yes, but also more than that. I love her.”
“You do realise the irony of you telling me you don’t want kids and then falling for a woman with a kid?”
“It’s been pointed out to me.”
She tilted her head. “It was never that you didn’t want kids, was it? You just didn’t want kidswith me.”
“Yeah,” he replied, an apologetic smile pulling at his lips. “I didn’t really know what I wanted before. But with Beth … it’s the same way as you feel about Nathan. I have no doubts.”
“I think I always suspected it was children withmethat was the issue, not children in general.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
“It’s okay. We weren’t right for each other. Maybe we should have admitted that sooner. I’m glad we both found the right person in the end.”
“It’s not that simple for me,” Trystan said. “Beth and Ellie live in Plymouth. I thought we could have a long-distance relationship for a while and see how things go … but Beth was worried about it being unsettling for Ellie. I thought it was an excuse but now I think maybe she has a point.”
“How come?”
He ran his hands over his face. “I went over last weekend and looked after Ellie while Beth was working. In the space of a day, I think I traumatised the poor child and possibly caused her lasting psychological damage …” He took a deep breath before recalling the events of the day, including how badly he’d handled her being upset in the morning and the many awkward conversations.
“It doesn’t sound so bad,” Jenny said when he came to the end of the story. “She sounds like an inquisitive kid. All kids ask questions.”
“But I answered them all wrong! Ellie asking so many questions about her father is probably exactly the confusion Beth wanted to avoid.”
“I doubt it. She was bound to ask eventually.”
“But I didn’t give her very informative answers to her questions, did I? Plus, she’s probably going into school telling her teachers she’s got a twenty-two-year-old boyfriend called Kit! Social services will be knocking on the door before we know it.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” Jenny rolled her eyes in amusement. “What did Beth say about it?”
He closed his eyes, then peeked out of one. “I should have told her, shouldn’t I?”
“Trystan!” She gave his shoulder a shove. “Of course you should have told her. Why didn’t you?”
“I kept thinking about saying something, but I feel as though it will cause issues. She’d already told me she was worried about us being together because of how it would affect Ellie. I wasn’t overly keen to admit she was right.”
“Idiot,” Jenny said lightly. “You need to talk to her about it. If nothing else, she should know that Ellie was asking questions about her father.”
He leaned his elbows on the counter, letting the weight of his head stretch his neck. “When we were on holiday everything was easy. I looked after Ellie on St Mary’s and it was fine, but Beth was right that it wasn’t real life. In the real-world Ellie asks me questions that I’ve no idea how to answer and ...” He trailed off.
“And what?”
He let out a long breath. “If Beth and I are together I’m going to be a huge part of Ellie’s life … What if I continue to have no idea how to answer her questions, or I answer them wrong? What if I geteverythingwrong?”
“I think the fact that you’re worried about getting things wrong is a sign that you’ll be fine. I have no doubt that you’re great with her. And Beth must think so too or she wouldn’t let you look after her.”
“I guess so.” He frowned. “I really need to talk to her properly. I’ve been avoiding the conversation all week, but she clearly knows something’s going on.”
“Well, pass me that chocolate eclair. Once I’ve polished that off and finished my coffee, I’ll head off and leave you to call her.”