“I’m sorry.”
“I think if you’re going to be sorry for anything, it should be for lying to me rather than disrupting my sleep.”
Her heart felt as though it stopped dead. “What are you talking about?”
“You told me there was nothing going on between you and Felix.”
“There isn’t.”
He exhaled loudly and dropped onto the edge of the bed. “Remind me again how you came to have an allergic reaction?”
“I’m guessing you already know that,” she said quietly.
“Surely you knew I’d find out. I imagine that’s going to be island gossip for a good while.” He dropped his head to his hands and dragged his fingers through his hair. “It doesn’t even matter. It’s none of my business who you kiss.”
“Don’t be like that.”
“Like what? You made it very clear that you’re not interested in me, so you don’t need to feel guilty for kissing someone else.”
“Felix kissedme,” she said desperately. “But there’s nothing going on between us.”
“That might be easier to believe if you hadn’t outright lied to me yesterday.”
“I should have told you the truth.” She took a step towards him, swallowing hard. “I wasn’t thinking straight, and I didn’t particularly want you to know. But I swear it was one-sided.” She paused, waiting for a response, but he kept quiet. “If I’m honest, I didn’t bother to stop him kissing me because I knew you were at the beach with Holly and I was jealous.”
He rolled his eyes. “I see – you don’t want to be with me but you don’t want me to be with anyone else?”
“No.” She looked him right in the eyes. “That’s not how it is.”
“It’s kind of suspicious though – that you weren’t remotely interested in me until you thought I was seeing someone else.” He shook his head. “If we got together you’d be bored of me in a week.”
Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. “That’s not fair.”
“Really? Because it seems to me that you prefer guys who treat you like crap. Guys who can’t even be bothered to make sure you get home okay when you’re having an allergic reaction.”
She shook her head. “Why are you so angry about Felix not walking me home? It’s starting to sound as though you might not have bothered coming to find me if you knew it was kissing Felix that had brought on my attack.”
“Are you serious?” His head shot up and his features were a mixture of sadness and disbelief. She wanted to take it back immediately. “You think I’d have left you?”
“I shouldn’t have said that. Of course I don’t think that. I just need you to believe that I don’t want to be with Felix. I want to be with you. And it’s got nothing to do with me being jealous. I wanted to be with you since before you told me how you felt. I was just too scared to admit it.”
“I’m struggling to believe anything you say.” He hung his head. “Can you please leave?”
“I’m really sorry,” she whispered.
“Just go.”
She stared at him for a moment before deciding there was nothing left for her to say.
Rain was falling heavily when she stepped outside. In her car, she listened to it drumming on the roof while tears fell freely down her cheeks.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-TWO
Seren spent a while composing a message to Kit on Sunday morning, apologising again and asking if they could talk. She hoped that the tension the previous evening had partly been borne from Kit’s lack of sleep and high emotions. Hopefully after a full night’s sleep, he’d feel differently. He hadn’t replied by the time she started her shift, and as the afternoon went on she began to resign herself to the fact that he didn’t want to speak to her.
Part of her was annoyed with him for not even bothering to reply to her message. Mostly, she felt utterly devastated. Rain came down constantly all day, apparently putting people off from venturing out to the pub. The place was almost empty when Noah arrived for his shift late in the afternoon.
“How are you feeling now?” he asked her.