“How come I don’t believe you?”
“I’ve got no idea.” He swung his legs off the bed and sat up. “Do you need to shower? Because we need to leave pretty soon.”
“I’ll shower at the gym.”
“Okay,” Kit said, standing. “I’m going to jump in the bathroom then.”
“I’ll be gone by the time you’ve showered.” Trystan sidestepped to block Kit’s path.
“See you soon,” Kit said, giving him a brief hug. “Sorry about Jenny.”
“You’re pissed off with me, aren’t you?” Trystan’s hand in the centre of Kit’s chest stopped him from moving any further. “I honestly didn’t mean to fall asleep in there. Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“Because it doesn’t matter,” Kit said on a sigh. “I spent the last two days kidding myself that maybe there could be something more than friendship between me and Seren. I kept getting these vibes and thinking she was giving me looks … but when you came in last night, she was as affectionate with you as she ever is with me.”
“She was affectionate because I was upset and she’s one of my oldest friends. That’s all.”
“I’m not saying there’s anything more to it. I don’t suddenly think she has a thing for you … I just realised she treats us the same. She sees us in the same way –as her oldest friends. I need to stop wishing for something else and get on with my life.”
Trystan frowned. “Can you please not leave being angry with me?”
“I’m not angry with you.” Kit took a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders. “I swear I’m not angry with you. I’m just tired.”
“Good.” Trystan smothered him in a bear hug. “Sorry I didn’t get to see you much this weekend.”
“No worries. I really am sorry about Jenny. Are you gonna be okay?”
“I think so.” Trystan gave Kit a playful kiss on the side of his head, making him squirm to get away. It had been one of their dad’s annoying habits, which Trystan would now occasionally inflict on him.
“Come over and visit soon,” Kit said, pausing in the doorway. “And call anytime you want to chat.”
“You too. Let me know you get home okay.” Trystan gave him a quick smile. “Love you, baby bro.”
“Love you too,” Kit mumbled as he walked away.
When he came out of the bathroom, Seren had coffee and toast waiting for him and they sat side by side at the kitchen island and ate in silence. The weekend away had lost its shine, and he’d be happy to get back home and have space to think clearly.
On the journey his thoughts swirled madly. He couldn’t keep on with his infatuation with Seren. That much was at least clear to him. He just wasn’t sure what to do about it. Several times on the flight he contemplated telling her how he felt. It would be slightly awkward on the plane though. Raising his voice over the noise of the engines would likely guarantee that all the other passengers heard him too. It wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have while shouting in each other’s ears. Did he even want to have it at all?
Once they were in Seren’s car for the final part of the journey, it felt like the perfect opportunity to say something. He’d tell her how he felt and then … well, most likely she’d look at him as though he’d lost his mind. What would happen after she’d let him down gently?
He’d have closure and be able to start the process of getting over her, that’s what.
“Kit!”
His head shot up as Seren nudged his leg.
“What?” Glancing outside, he realised they were at his place.
“You were miles away. I said you still need to let me know how much I owe you for the flights and rental car and everything.”
“Yeah. I’ll have to figure it out.” Or just wait until she forgot about it. She was perpetually short on funds and the money made no difference to him.
“Thanks for inviting me,” she said. “I had a great time.”
“Me too.” He reached for the door handle, then stopped and looked back at her. “I… um…” He closed his eyes briefly and opened them to find her looking at him, one eyebrow slightly raised. “I’m glad you came with me,” he said, the words feeling disjointed. He couldn’t find the right words and felt like a bumbling fool. If he told her how he felt, he couldn’t take it back. She would know. Forever. Every conversation, every encounter would be awkward. They’d never be able to just hang out again. “See you soon,” he said, pushing the door open and hopping out.
As he went into his flat, he told himself that keeping his feelings to himself had been for the best. His thoughts continued to whir regardless, and it didn’t take long before he was restless and sick of his own company. Checking the time, he rushed out of the door and headed for the promenade at a quick pace. He made it to the train stop a few minutes before two o’clock, happy to find that Noah and Keira hadn’t left.