“I know it’s not much, but it’s a start. I said I’ll pay you back and I will.”
Hot tears burned the back of her eyes. “You don’t need to … you already paid for dinner. You keep that.”
“No.” He pressed the note into her hand.
“Maybe you should put it towards your holiday fund since Mum’s convinced you’ll be coming to visit me.”
“We will,” he said eagerly. “We’ve got a jar at home now … every week I put in the money that I’d have spent on lottery tickets.”
“You’re not playing any more?”
“No. It turns out your fella was right … about the odds being the same every week. I looked into it. Turns out that the chances of winning the jackpot are about 45 million to one.” He chuckled. “Can you believe that? I found this website … just a daft jokey thing but it tells you all these ridiculous things that are more likely to happen to you than winning the lottery.”
“Like what?”
“Well. Apparently, I’m more likely to become a saint. An actual saint! I think it’s a safe bet that that’s never going to happen. I’m also more likely to get crushed by a meteorite or win an Oscar.”
“Seriously?” Keira asked.
“Yes. I’d be better off spending my money on acting classes and practising my acceptance speech. Do you want to come to the award ceremony with me? We can strut our stuff on the red carpet before they hand over my Oscar.”
Keira felt a layer of tension leave her as she laughed. “So, you’re really not playing the lottery any more?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’m giving up the horses too. Trying to anyway… I had a bit of a slip but I reckon it’ll be easier now that I’m not working there any more.”
“That’s why you got a new job?”
“Yes.”
“That’s really good,” she told him tearfully.
“I don’t want to make excuses … but I always thought you could afford to give us money.”
“I could,” she sniffed. “Just about.”
“Somehow I’d got it in my head that you got a kick out of it, like it was an ego boost for you to help out your parents.”
“No.” She shook her head firmly. “That was never the case.”
“I realise that now. I’m sorry, love.”
“It’s fine. I’m really happy you’re trying to stop gambling.”
“I joined one of those groups like you suggested. It’s a bit of an eye-opener. I thought I’d go along and they’d say I didn’t have a problem, but of course that wasn’t the case. I’m just like the rest of the people there.”
“Try and stick at it,” she said, forcing a smile.
“I will. The last thing I want is for you to be ashamed of me.”
“I’m not.”
“You are,” he said sternly. “Or you were. And you were right to be. I’m only sorry it took you having a go at me for me to do something about it.”
“Why have you been ignoring me?” she asked, irritation coursing through her as she remembered what he’d put her through over the last weeks. “I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“It wasn’t that.” He put a hand over hers. “I was too embarrassed to face you. Telling you I’d change didn’t seem enough, so I thought I’d wait until I could prove I meant it. I was looking for a new job and trying to sort myself out. I could never not want to see you.”
Shifting over to him, she gave him a hug. “Do you really think you’ll come and visit me on Scilly?”