“Aslin Reed,” I say. “Hmmm uhmmm hmm…” I’m scanning for anything of interest. “The fuck?” I find myself swearing as I look up at Jason. “She declared herself to be a bank robber.”
“She’s not a bank robber,” Jason laughs. Then he looks at me a little more seriously. “She’s not a bank robber, is she?”
“She’s got enough money to throw around, and she doesn’t talk about a job. She doesn’t really care how she spends it either, which people who have to earn their money usually do. And I’ve never heard her talk about owning property, which makes sense if all her gains are ill-gotten.”
The laughter between us dies down a bit. I think it’s pretty clear to us both with the way Aslin behaves, her complete disregard for rules, her refusal to bow to any kind of authority, and her absolute disinterest in consequences, she has all the markers of an adorably well-put-together little modern psychopath.
“It’s late,” Jason says. “We should get some rest before she runs us ragged tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “Good idea.”
I can’t sleep. I’m worried. I’m worried that the money we’ve taken might be illegally sourced. I’m worried we might now be conspirators in the eyes of the law. I’m worried that she’s done something very, very wrong. Most of all, I’m worried that I’m already deeply in love with her.
6
Soren
It’s still dark when we get up. Usually we rise with the sun, but I don’t think Jason or I slept well last night. It finally hit us that Aslin might not be more than she seems to be. She might be exactly what she seems to be.
Aslin stirs and looks over at us. The light from the fire plays over her face. There’s so little innocence there, mischief dances in her eyes, a constant need to tease and taunt not just us, but the entire world. This is a woman who would defy a god if he would show himself to her.
“Hey,” she says, rubbing her eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Aslin,” I say. “We checked your application last night. You put bank robber under occupation.”
Aslin looks at me for a long moment, her dark eyes searching mine. laughs. “You really think I’m a bank robber!? Wow. Did you know the word gullible isn’t in the dictionary?”
Aslin
Shit. I put the bank robber thing down as a joke. I’m not really a bank robber, of course. But I am, kinda. I’m not exactly the sort of person who makes a legal living, necessarily. When I filled out the form, I was drunk, and frankly, I didn’t give a shit what the hell whoever read it thought. I guess I was pushing these two away before I even met them.
“So it was just another one of your little jokes. What is your profession, then?”
“I’m an internet celebrity. I make money posting pictures of myself online with filters that make my ass look huge, and my thighs look nonexistent. They call me Sticky.”
Soren gives me a dark look. He’s so serious. I think he really does suspect I’m a robber. What if I was? What’s he going to do? Arrest me? He has no authority here.
“What’s the big deal? What does it matter what I do? You haven’t given a fuck who I was until now. You barely know me at all. Besides, maybe I’m an elementary school teacher who happened to come into an inheritance and decided to blow it on the retreat of a lifetime. You don’t know.”
“I’d like to know,” he says. He’s just so earnest. Goddammit.
“Serial fraudster,” I say, straight faced. “I designed a program that steals the rounding errors from bank transactions, fractions of a penny at a time all adding up to millions of dollars.”
Soren
“That’s the plot of Office Space.”
She is desperately avoiding the question. I am growing more and more suspicious with every passing minute. Or she’s fucking with me, as usual. Dawn is starting to break, and with it the morning chorus of birdlife greeting the new day. It is too early to be wrapped up in her little games.
“Oh. Yeah,” she grins. “Seriously, I’m in real estate. I sell expensive houses to rich assholes.”
Why do I feel slightly disappointed at that answer? I know I didn’t want her to secretly be a criminal, but a real estate agent? I don’t see it for her. I don’t think she has the ability to put her wilder impulses away for long enough to kiss ass.
“I’m going to fish us up some breakfast,” she says. I think she wants this conversation to be over. I can tell by the way she moves back and forth on her bedroll that she’s not comfortable. She grabs some clothes and scampers away as quickly as possible, like Jason and I are two inquisitors she needs to escape.
“I don’t believe a single fucking word she said,” Jason says, throwing his two pennies into the ring. “I don’t know how she got her money, but I don’t think she works for it. Heiress, maybe? Spoiled little rich girl?”