“Fucking hell!” Jason rocks back on his knees, both hands on his nose.
It’s not broken, but it has made his eyes water. Serves him right for waking me up like that. I don’t know where Soren is, but I know Jason’s going to be mad as hell. I have not made a good first, second, or third impression here.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I ask the question aggressively. Some people might apologize for punching a guy in the face, but I’m not going to.
“It is time to meditate,” he says.
“I said I’d pay you if you’d shut up about that bullshit. What is this, a shakedown?”
“I’m not taking a bribe,” Jason declares. “I’m going to do my job instead.”
“Why!?”
“Because I like my job, and I don’t like being dismissed by a spoiled brat who thinks she can buy her way out of every inconvenience.”
“So you admit this is an inconvenience.”
He picks me up under the arms and hefts me physically out of bed. Cold air rushes in, waking me up instantly all the way.
“Ugh!”
He carries me from the gazebo and eventually deposits me on a cushion on the dock. Soren is already sitting cross-legged on the one next to it. I don’t have the energy to fight first thing in the morning. I need coffee to get me into true combat mode.
The world is still. The water in the river flows by with soft sounds. Occasionally, an insect chirps or a bird flutters. The world around us is alive with its own little intentions. I just want to go back to sleep.
My eyelids drift down time and time again. The next thing I’m aware of is Soren nudging me up to my feet.
“Alright,” he says. “Good work.”
“Sleeping on the dock isn’t good work,” Jason grumbles, but I think he’s secretly pleased. Nobody is trying to whip me with the scenery, so that’s a good sign. Maybe we just all got off on the wrong foot yesterday. That happens to me kind of a lot. I’m not really what you might call someone who makes good first impressions.
“Breakfast time,” Soren declares.
I am starving, but I’m still not prepared to eat one of their MREs. Fortunately that’s not on the menu. Instead they’ve managed to rustle up some eggs and rice. It’s simple, but it’s good.
“So. What are we doing today? Constructing wind chimes? Observing our inner selves?” I sass the question in the direction of either of the men.
“We’re going on a hike up the mountain,” Jason says.
I let out a deep sigh. “You are full of ideas of things I do not want to do. At all.”
“Why did you sign up for this retreat if you just wanted to do your own thing? You could have rented a cabin on a lake and not had to deal with any of this.”
Soren’s question is insightful, and that is why I do not like it.
“I assumed most of it would be optional. These things are usually bullshit. Some nonsense on some website. Promises of relaxation and maybe enlightenment. It’s all the same kind of lie. I had no reason whatsoever to believe you’d be out here taking things seriously.”
“Surprise,” Jason deadpans.
“My offer is still good. Five grand each and I get to do whatever I want, and so do you. It’s the best deal you’re going to get. You guys don’t want to be out here babysitting me. I’m a handful at the best of times, and nothing about this is the best of times.”
I look between the two of them. Five grand will go a long way out here, and it’s for three weeks of work, which is very good deal.
“Come on, boys,” I say. “Can’t tell me you wouldn’t like to sleep in and have a break. Could take a break from this wilderness and go to Kathmandu. Hit some bars. Find some girls. Hmm?” I waggle my brows in what I hope is a suggestive way.
“I’m not taking your bribe,” Jason growls.
“Fine. I’ll double it. Ten grand each, and I don’t have to go on a hike.”
“You have to stop trying to buy your way out of everything.”
“I bought my way into this mess. Why can’t I buy my way out of it?”
“There is a certain logic to that,” Soren admits.
Jason disagrees. “No. My services are for sale specifically within the parameters of the contract. I am not available for paid vacations. If I wanted to let spoiled brats run amok, I’d go work in a daycare. We chose to run this retreat the way we run it with the rules we established for it. We were very clear on what you were signing up for. Your regret is not my problem, and you cannot bribe your way out of it.”
“So Jason’s a man of principle for no apparent reason; what about you, Soren? You don’t have anything you could spend ten grand on?” I reply.