My mother has never seemed anything other than resigned to me.Resigned to her fate.Once Richard entered her life, she abandoned Larissa and me emotionally.She lit up when Richard gave her the attention my father never did, but she lost all feelings for her daughters.
And later?She stopped lighting up for Richard.
She just stopped lighting up.
“She was a force to be reckoned with,” Dad says.“So wild and spirited.Her beauty wasn’t just on the outside.It shone through every part of her.She had a good heart, and she felt things.That’s what drew me to her more than her beauty and intelligence, even.She could feel, and we shared that in common.”
Jaw.Drop.
My father is describing a woman I don’t know.She was a good mother before Richard.She was emotionally available for Larissa and me—me especially, as Larissa was Dad’s favorite and he emotionally mistreated me.
It took years for me to figure out why.
He was projecting his own self-hatred onto me—the child who resembled him, and the child who ultimately inherited his vampire blood.
But my mother…
I don’t recognize the woman my father describes.The woman I know has little emotion, good or bad.The woman I know is…numb.
“Richard was calculating,” Dad continues.“He knew who I was, and he knew I had broken your mother.So he went in for the kill just when she was on the rebound and ripe for the picking.”
“You never marry the rebound guy,” I say, more to myself than to my father.Then, “What did he hope to gain?He claims he loves her.”
“I believe he does in his way.”My father sighs.“It’s a common misconception that demons are incapable of love.Good, evil, love, hate… There are no absolutes in this world or any other, Hannah.As for what he hoped to gain?”He closes his eyes.“I believe he’s gaining it now.”
“Gainingwhatnow?You’re talking in riddles, Dad.”
“I believe I’ve underestimated many people in my circle lately.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“But it does.I made a choice—something I can’t share with you—that has led us here.”
“The choice to marry Mom, you mean?”
“No.You already know about that choice, and you know what it has cost your mother.”
I nod, anger rising in me.“All this time… All this time, you knew who and what Richard was.Why didn’t you intervene, for God’s sake?You could have saved her!You could have saved us all!”
“I set certain events in motion.That’s true.But I have no power to save anyone but myself, Hannah.Same as you.”
I shake my head.“What the hell are you trying to tell me?”
“I’m telling you that things aren’t always the way they seem.However, you’ve made your choice.If you’re certain, here is what you must do to renounce your blood ties to your king.”
42
“Wait,” I say.
My father’s eyebrows rise, and a look of—is it hope?—crosses his face.
“Good.You’ve changed your mind,” he says.
Right.Not in this lifetime.But I have a question—an important one.
“I will go to Rogan,” I say.“A choice no longer exists for me.But first, I need you to answer a question.”
“I have no desire to answer a question from the enemy, even if the enemy is my daughter.”