“Yes.”
“Give me some context for the conversation?” That was something I shouldn’t ask. It wouldn’t help me feel any better.
“Are you sure?”
Thatdefinitelydidn’t help me feel better, but now I needed to know even more. “Yes.”
Link made a series of soft clucks that sounded more like line noise than a person. “You know I love him, right?”
“I do.” That didn’t stop the words from slamming into me like a fist to the gut. I’d known pretty much from the start that the two of them were in love, and had no idea how they hadn’t figured it out.
“I told him. I finally said the words.” Link’s voice was quiet. Contemplative.
Was that ache in my chest what a breaking heart felt like? I was pretty sure it was.
“I’m sorry.” Link sounded like he meant the apology, and I didn’t have any reason to doubt him. “I don’t know how to put that differently, and you wanted context. But I also told him, the same way I’m telling you now, that doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”
I couldn’t handle this roller coaster of emotion. “Which is?”
“I hate that you’re gone. Talking to you every night isn’t the same as having you here, and I miss you desperately. Not that I would give these conversations up for anything. Never. I can love him and you at the same time.”
Did he just… Did I hear him… “Say that again. Not all of it. The important part.”
Link’s chuckle, his smile, threatened to engulf the jumble of emotions inside me. “I’m falling for you,” he said. “Some days it feels like I’ve known you forever and at the same time I don’t know if I can ever spend enough time with you. Maybe it’s too soon forI love you, but… I don’t think it is.”
The combination of emotions, the highs and lows, the muddy mess in my heart and mind, choked a giggle from me.
“What’s funny?” Link asked.
“Falling for Fallyn. From far away. It’s not really funny.” But I was laughing anyway.
“I love that sound, too.”
Damn it, I needed to ask him to stop. This was too easy. Too comforting. Too exactly what I needed. “What sound?”
“Your laugh. Since the first time I heard it.”
Unlike Elliot, Link was perfect. Which was its own kind of scary, but… He was warm, he was empathic, he was adoring, he was sweet. “What do you see in Elliot?” That was a perfect way to ruin this conversation, but I had to know. “Why didn’t you ever give up on him?”
“Because…” Link sighed. “Because I know who he is. I’ve watched him build the walls he hides behind and he’s still himself in that fort. That doesn’t mean I forgive him when he’s an ass, and it doesn’t mean what he said to you was okay.”
“He told you.” Did I dare believe it had been the truth? No self-important narcissist would take the blame for a conversation like that one. “Did he say something like I overreacted, or he didn’t know why I was so upset?”
Link frowned. “No. He told me he was wrong and he wished he could take it back. But I’m not the one he has to apologize to.”
“I don’t want to talk about Elliot anymore. Not that he’s off-limits.” Not now. “But I want to talk to you.“ And try to ignore that nagging question inside. That little voice asking if I should’ve heard Elliot out in the game. I was talking to the perfect guy right at this moment, and I still wanted another, broken one on top of that?
Selfish, selfish Fallyn.
Instead, I’d enjoy my evening with Link.
“Is asking about why you’re taking a break off-limits too?” Link asked.
Right. That. “No, but there’s not much to say about it. I just can’t right now.” My voice cracked.
“Okay.” Link sounded kind. “Do you want to hear a secret?”
I wasn’t sure I could handle anything else emotional. “Depends? Is it the kind of thing you have to kill me if you tell me?”