“Okay.” There were far worse things she could’ve called me. Of course, going for the one thing I’d called myself during one of those late-night conversations of ours didn’t seem super creative, but, “What you think doesn’t matter.”
“If that were true, you wouldn’t care about my videos.”
I hated that she was right. “What would your followers say if they knew who Kittie was in real life?” I was continuing to keep this personal, and couldn’t find the desire to stop.
“I’m as much Fallyn as I am Kittie. You’re the only one who seems to have a problem recognizing that. And I can embrace my inner bitch in real life if I need to. I can fake it till I make it. You, on the other hand, are a cold, uncaring fuck, and when love finally bites you in the ass, it will destroy you.”
What? Where the fuck…? “I’ve chosen not to fall in love.”
“That’s not a thing. Either you love or you don’t. It’s not something you pick.”
I had no idea why this was our tangent, but no backing down. I was single, I was detached, I had hold of my own heart, because I wanted to. “Bet me.”
Link coughed. I glanced at him, but he had his jaw clenched tight.
“A bet comes with clear goals. There’s an end game, or there are no winners or losers,” Fallyn said.
I didn’t lose. “The end game is whoever comes out on top at the end of your trip.” On top of what? What was I doing?
Not backing down, because fuck her. I was right.
“Fine. Before I leave, I can make you fall in love, Mr. I-Choose-to-be-a-Calloused-Asshole.”
My barking laugh slipped out. “Fall in love withyou?”
“With me.”
Yeah. No. “Fine. Because you can’t. I will make you realize that Bitchy Fallyn—your online persona—is not a good end goal. You donotwant to be her.”
“Because you prefer submissive, docile Kittie, who only exists for you and purrs just because you offered your lap?” Her retort dripped with scorn. “If that’s what you think I want instead, you’ve already lost.”
“Fine. It’s a bet.” An easy one on my part, because I already knew she didn’t like embracing her online self in real life, she just thought she should for some reason. And I already knew I didn’t like her.
“What are the stakes?”
“They’re in the bet. If I fall, you get to break my heart. But when you realize you’re running your show wrong, I get to see you choke on the truth when you admit it to your audience.”
Fallyn shook her head. “Not gonna happen. Who’s the judge in this pointless contest?”
I looked at Link.
“No,” Fallyn said. “He’syourfriend.”
“You’ll never meet anyone more impartial.” Though I hoped at the end of the day he’d side with me, one of the things I adored about Link was he was fair. And it didn’t matter because I wouldn’t lose.
“I’m in,” Link agreed.
Fallyn pursed her lips and puffed out her cheeks and for a heartbeat, she looked adorably vulnerable.
Which I already knew didn’t matter.
“Fine. Bet’s on,” she said.
8/
fallyn
Ididn’t mean to tumble down that path with Elliot.