The tightness in my chest drops to my heart, and though I can hardly breathe, I oddly feel like laughing at the same time. The madness kind of laugh. The kind that comes with extreme relief, with being seen.
“Okay.” I nod, stepping into him. Theo wraps me in his arms and drops a kiss on the very top of my head. I imagined this. Well, notquitethis, but the sentiment. I maybe wished for it. Turns out, heisthat kind of guy after all.
Chapter20
Theo
Today was a good day.
I think maybe accepting that I have feelings for Lily, and that they’re real and valid and . . . well . . . allowed, tilted the universe scales for me. I aced my economics test. I caught every pass James threw to me at practice. And he and I honestly gelled, like a real friendship.
We didn’t talk about what he called our ‘come to Jesus moment’ in his kitchen. He merely asked me if I made shit right and I nodded and shook his hand. I suppose as dudes we gloss over the details and bury feelings, but the outcome is what matters, and he and I? We’re square. Solid, in fact.
Since Lily and I left the mall, though, I keep thinking about my biggest epiphany—that I’mallowedto have feelings for her. To care about her. To fall for her piece by beautiful piece. While I might not have been up for the heartfelt talk with James, I think Lily and I need to have it. Maybe it’s a latent lesson from my sister stuck in my head, but I sort of feel as though Lily deserves it. Or perhaps I simply want to know if she feels like we’re forbidden, too. It sounds stupid in my head, but it was a mountainous hurdle only a few days ago.
“You mind if we pull out somewhere and hang out just me and you a little while?” I glance at her and she sucks in her lips, tucking her hands under her thighs and pushing her skirt in.
I chuckle, realizing how that sounded. And now that the idea is mixed in with more gentlemanly reasons I wanted to hang out with her alone, I’m half hard and sure to fuck up anything important I want to say.
“I really did mean to talk. But—”
I grab the back of my neck and laugh. I’m the goddamn devil.
“I’d like that. Alone time doesn’t feel totally alone in your lair, no offense,” she says, her voice raspy and quiet.
“I could kill Cameron for that label. It makes me sound like one of thoseDungeons and Dragonsnerds.” I pull off at the next exit toward the lake and realize Lily didn’t laugh at my joke.
“Oh, God, wait. You’re— You play that shit?” I hold a fist to my mouth and spit out a brief laugh before she swats at my arm.
“Says the guy with a He-Man credit card.” She folds her arms over her chest and shifts to stare me down.
“Touché,” I relent. I nod and hold my mouth shut, keeping the millions of questions I now want to ask her locked behind my lips. They’re still in my head, though, and eventually, one of them slips out.
“So, were you like, a fairy or a warlock? Or . . . oh! A dragon?”
“I was twelve and you’re an asshole,” she huffs. I can tell by her tone she’s not truly mad, though. Sadly, I’ve seen her earnestly angry with me. Both that time and this are my fault.
“So . . . dragon then?” I nod as I stare straight ahead and the roadway turns to dirt. We cross into a cover of trees. The car is quiet, but I see her shifting in my periphery, looking around at the landscape and thankfully not angry or nervous.
“Dragon princess,” she finally responds.
Unrestrained laughter flies out of my mouth and I cough, likely choking on the foot I keep putting in my mouth.
She gets me back by reciting a few lines from the He-Man cartoons and by the time I pull us into the clearing, we’re on playful and friendly terms.
I kill the engine and unlatch my buckle so I can pull up a leg and look her more in the eyes. She does the same, only keeping one leg tucked under the other. My eyes instinctually drift to the exposed part of her inner thigh, and my dick flexes its muscle to remind me it’s still very much present.
“You look great in that dress,” I say, clearing my throat as I steer our conversation into safe territory.
Lily looks down and bats her lashes as she tucks her bottom lip under her teeth.
“Thank you,” she utters. “I really love it. I’m still embarrassed that you had to pay for it, though. I’ll pay you back.”
I shake my head and wave a hand.
“Please don’t. Consider it me making us even for all the times I’ve been an asshole this term.”
She lifts her chin and meets my gaze, seeming to study me for a few seconds. I wonder if she’s trying to read how genuine I am. I think this may be the sincerest I’ve ever been. She seems to pull that quality out of me and multiply it.