‘For the love of God,’ he muttered, then righted himself and stood stiff as a board as he did his best to forget that I was clinging to him in our special place. We waited while they righted the shot, the lighting, the wind direction … everything they could do to delay the shot, or so it felt.
We weren’t miked up and no one was immediately near us when Heath said: ‘Are we truly over, Cathy? Is there no hope for us? Just tell me yes or no and I’ll get out of your life forever.’
I pressed my forehead against his back and breathed too quickly. I recovered myself to answer. ‘You could have asked me that at home last night and saved us both the anguish today,’ I said. ‘We were over the moment you got engaged to Isabella.’
‘Not the moment you told me you wanted out or kissed Edgar?’ he hissed, through clenched teeth. He kept his voice low so the conversation was only heard by the two of us.
I made a scoffing sound. ‘You know Heath, you call Edgar stuck-up but you stand here so full of entitlement as if you have some rights over me, as if you own me.’
We stopped talking as our lighting guy came over and moved the flecky board so that the lighting was a little more focused on Heath. He moved away and Heath continued.
‘Cathy, I am such an idiot. I had this track playing in my head of how I’d return to you, what a reunion it would be and how you would want me after your stint in London,’ he said. ‘I laugh now at the thought of what an idiot I was.’
His words caused a lump in my throat.
Will interrupted our discussion. ‘Okay, last shot for the day everyone, let’s try and do it in three takes or less,’ he said, challenging us. ‘Heath, you’re looking out over the moors. Cathy, you are wrapped around Heath like you’ve just scored him and plan to dominate.’
We both nodded and gave cheerless smiles. Will read our looks and cut short the rest of his banter, stepping backwards and looking at the shot on his monitor for one last time.
Clearly all was not well with his stars on their high perch in the moors.
Let’s just get this over with.
I was waiting for Will to call action when Heath said in a low rumble: ‘Come back to me, Cathy. I love you more in one day than he could love you in his whole lifetime, and you know it.’
His soft words with their sharp edge hit me hard. I wasn’t prepared for this, I thought he had said all he had to say last night.
I released my hold on him and stumbled backwards.
‘Don’t, please,’ I hissed. ‘You’re engaged. We were family once Heath and not even blood. Now, we are nothing.’
He turned to look at me, stepping out of position. ‘Oh, we are family, Cathy. We might not be blood, but we’re legally family and you can’t divorce siblings. Consider us family for life,’ he said, glaring at me with passion.
I stood back from him to have a minute to myself.
‘Wait up everyone,’ Will said. He came over to me. ‘Are you okay, Cathy? Do you need a few minutes?’
I shook my head. ‘Sorry Will, just …’ my voice trailed as I tried to come up with an excuse, as I blinked back tears.
‘Cathy thought she was going to sneeze,’ Heath plucked out of nowhere.
I nodded and pinched my nose. ‘Sorry Will, I’m okay now, it’s passed,’ I said, blinking, as though that was the reason for my watering eyes.
‘No problem,’ Will said. He backed away and returned to his post.
‘Thanks,’ I mumbled to Heath, even though he started the whole discussion.
Will called out: ‘Okay everyone, back in places. Make-up, a quick check of Cathy please.’
I moved back into position, rapidly blinked to clear my eyes, and let them dab some powder on my pinched nose.
‘Hold your positions, we’re ready now,’ Will called, and Heath turned back to stare at the moors. His pose was now perfect given the sting of his words. He looked angry, his jaw was locked, his posture ramrod. He looked like he would have it all if it was the last thing he did on this earth.
Will must have thought so too. He must be rubbing his hands with glee hoping the tension emanating from us would translate on screen.
‘Action,’ Will called, and I held Heath with the fierce determination that for this last day, on this shoot, onourmoors, he was mine and never, ever again would I hold him.
*****