Chapter 17– It’s a wrap
I took a deep breath, blocked out the fact that Edgar stood behind the cameras, fully dressed, and that this was my last time on set with him – for this film anyway. I could tell Kyle was pumped too. He gave me an encouraging nod, and it began.
‘And action,’ Edgar called.
I was snorting cocaine off the table when I heard the door open. It was too late to hide it and I knew Connor (Kyle’s character) hated it. I stood and tried to block him at the door. He looked over my shoulder.
‘For fuck’s sake, Portia,’ he hissed, using my character’s name.
I wiped the powder from under my nose and started to make excuses.
‘Forget it,’ he said. ‘We have to talk.’
I nodded and followed him as he turned and moved towards the kitchen. He indicated a seat but I shook my head and stood behind the kitchen chair. I was nervy, wired, and bad energy was running through me. I played the role with twitches, lots of small movements and glances around.
“Sit down for chrissake,” he hissed.
I sat down and ran a hand through my stringy hair. He studied me and seated himself, taking a deep breath. You could hear a pin drop in the studio.
‘I’m leaving,’ his voice softened, ‘I want you to come with me.’
I made a small snickering sound as if it were impossible, and I looked down at my hands.
He said it louder. ‘I want you to come with me. Get clean, be what we once were,’ he reached for my hands. ‘We can do it, Portia,’ he said, hopeful.
I shook my head and fidgeted.
‘Why the fuck not?’ he demanded, his voice getting louder. ‘It’s not like this is the dream life!’
‘I can’t leave now, there’s Mum, she’s sick,’ I said with a small shrug, and wiped my nose again.
‘Oh, the mother who has done fuck all for you all your life? That mother?’ he snarled.
I nodded and rose, and he rose too, coming around to me and pushing me against the wall. I cried out. My body was frail, thin and sore and I was frightened of him.
‘I don’t want to go. You go, I’ll come later … I promise,’ I said, in this whining, wheedling voice.
He laughed. ‘You’ll never come. You’ll stay here and steal, beg and borrow until you get what you need and then it will show you an early grave.’
I pushed him off and moved around the table.
‘Just go,’ I hissed. ‘I’ve got enough shit going on, I don’t need your drama.’
He laughed again. ‘Drama? Honey, I’m the least of your dramas.’
I started to chew on my nail.
He softened and took a breath. ‘Remember when we met? We had all these plans, babe. All these things we were going to do together? Fuck, it’s not too late.’
I glanced at the door.
‘Where’s that girl?’ he asked. ‘That girl who was fun and free and sexy.’
I pushed my hair back behind both of my ears and smirked.
‘She fucked off a long time ago. I suggest you do the same,’ I said and held my chin up.
He slapped his hand on the table and startled me.