‘She’s more a theatre fan than I am, so she took a group of friends to Oxford and saw his play. They caught up afterwards.’
‘Right,’ I said.
Please stop talking or I will die. Isabella was not into theatre, she told me that Edgar was into it, not her. She’s gone there for one reason, and one reason only. To hitch up with Heath. Had she told Edgar that she was actually dating Heath or was he just being kind or discreet not breaking that to me?
I took the lead. ‘I understood they were seeing each other,’ I said.
‘Oh right.’ He looked surprised and didn’t confirm or deny he knew that. Maybe he didn’t, he sure as hell didn’t look thrilled.
I lost my appetite and did what I’ve been doing for the last few months – I moved into an acting role. To watch me, you would have thought I was having the best night of my life.
Chapter 15–Edgar’s abode
I couldn’t get the image out of my head of beautiful, glamorous Isabella in bed with my tall, brooding, striking Heath. I only had myself to blame; this was all my own doing.
We ventured out of the restaurant into the cool of the night and Edgar’s driver opened the door for me; I thanked him and slipped into the back seat. Edgar whipped around to the other side and slid in beside me before his driver could open the door. A few people on the sidewalk were taking photos. I don’t know if they knew who Edgar was or if they were just taking photos of someone getting into a chauffeur-driven car so they could work it out later. They wouldn’t know who I was, yet. One day, that would be different.
Edgar reached for my hand. If I wasn’t so torn, I’d truly appreciate how exciting this moment was and how gorgeous he was in his dark suit.
‘I could try a few corny lines,’ he said, ‘like inviting you to come up and see my etchings, or I could just invite you up or I can drop you home,’ Edgar said, turning side on to face me. He gave me a smile that would melt three-quarters of the female population. The other quarter would be lesbians or dead.
‘I’d like to see your etchings,’ I said, and he laughed.
Fuck you, Isabella and Heath, two can play at this game. You will never have Heath, Isabella, he was revenging me and now I too was playing with fire.
I wished I could wind back time, but the wheels were in motion and I was hurtling into life without Heath.
I did this.
I was going up in the elevator to Edgar’s penthouse when the thought struck me … I wonder how many people Edgar had bedded. Heath was the only person that had ever touched me. I lost my virginity to him on my seventeenth birthday. He said it was special, and that it must be intimate or at least a gift given to lovers, and we did it at our special place on the moors. He was two years older than me, and I didn’t ask if I was his first; I didn’t expect it to be even though we had always loved each other and promised ourselves to each other. He had been away at college studying drama for the year while I was finishing my last year of school and I think he had lovers but had not fallen in love. Sure, it’s a double standard but I guess I wanted him to know what he was doing.
We always said once I turned 17, we would officially date and make love and we did. I’ve played that scene in my head so many times. Heath was so intense.
‘I just need to know…’ he said, leaning on one elbow and looking into my eyes as we lay inside our rock shelter, hidden from the world, ‘… that you are definitely ready for me to take your virginity,’ he asked, looking so sincere.
‘Just take me,’ I teased him, ‘how hard can it be?’
‘Oh, it’s hard,’ he assured me, with a grin, and I laughed. ‘No, seriously, Cathy, answer me.’
I touched his face. ‘I have been waiting forever, and you are the first and only man I want inside me.’
‘I love you,’ he said, gazing down at me.
‘I love you,’ I whispered the words to him. I’d only ever loved him.
When Heath had begun to undress me, my breath hitched. Occasionally he would glance at me to make sure I was still okay with it all, and I begged him to continue.
‘You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on,’ he said. ‘The only person I have truly ever wanted.’
We had been the main person in each other’s lives for the longest time, he was my everything.
He paused again. ‘If you don’t like anything, just say so. We can keep practising until we’ve tried everything and then start again,’ he said, with a bad boy smile, and I tried to smile and look comfortable but I was completely naked and he wasn’t.
Then he slipped off his jeans and boxer briefs and my eyes widened at the size ofit,erect. That had to do some damage. He slipped on a condom, and then distracted me with kisses and with his fingers.
We didn’t talk but now and then he would remind me to breathe or to relax and then he made me come and I felt like I lost all control and was embarrassed. He used my wetness to enter me. I was aching for him. There was pain and there was pleasure; I get it now. My body braced as he entered and he paused again.
‘I promise, I want you in,’ I assured him, and he chuckled.