‘I want toexperienceEdgar,’ I said and gave Lockwood the hint of a smile. ‘That is so wrong isn’t it?’
He grinned. ‘I’d like to experience him too.’
I playfully hit him and we laughed.
I didn’t know that Heath had forgotten his phone and had come back for it. I didn’t hear the door open because all the windows were open and I was on the balcony, not far from the dining room table where Heath’s phone sat. I didn’t know that hearing his name he had stopped and heard the entire conversation. He heard me say I wanted to know what it was like to be kissed by Edgar and romanced by him.
I didn’t know that I had just changed our destinies and broken us.
Chapter 12– Heath leaves home
I heard the front door slam and I jumped up. Lockwood gasped.
‘Was that Heath?’ I asked, wide-eyed and panicked.
‘He must have heard us. Go quick, catch him,’ Lockwood said, and I rushed for the door hearing Lockwood’s words as I retreated.
I took the stairs at an incredible pace and met Heath at his car. I placed my hands on his chest to stop him and saw his eyes were damp.
‘You’re free Cathy. Let him romance you,’ he said.
‘No Heath,’ I begged him, ‘you don’t understand.’
His gaze was as cold as ice; he looked at me without any of the love and warmth that those eyes showed me last night.
‘I do now. I heard every word you said.’
‘It was girls’ talk, just ravings. Please don’t go, Heath, come upstairs and let’s talk. Please let me explain,’ I clutched onto him, my hands still on his chest.
‘I heard you say what you were feeling,’ he said and turned to open the driver’s side door.
I placed myself between him and the door. ‘Heath, please … no! I don’t know how to be without you. Don’t go, please,’ I pleaded.
He closed his eyes momentarily, then opened them, took a deep breath and looked up at the balcony where Lockwood was looking down upon us. He returned his attention to me.
‘Cathy, tell me what it is about Edgar that you like or want? Is it because he has light hair and fair skin or does he dress better than me? Does he treat you better than I do? Do you find him more attractive than me?’ He spat the words out. ‘Or is it that in my current line of work I don’t have a chance of being as rich or as successful as he is, nor do I have any interest in being so? Or are you just finished with me?’
Tears were streaming down my face and I was in panic mode trying to stop him from leaving. ‘No, Heath, it was just talking, silly, childish stuff, a crush … I was taken in by all he could offer me, the opportunities. I don’t even know him, I don’t know if I even like him so I can’t say if I feel anything for him … it’s just new,’ I babbled on; I tried to save us.
For just a moment he looked torn and then he took a deep breath and seemed to stand taller, finding the strength to leave me. He was dry-eyed now, distracted as if he was willing himself to forget my existence.
And then he laughed. It made me frightened of him. I dropped my hands from his chest and stepped back.
‘I know it has only been a month, but I am such an idiot,’ he shook his head. ‘I pictured our reunion in my head all the way here on the drive; watching it unfold in slow motion, with you clutching me like you couldn’t live without me, and me holding you so tight that it would fill me up for the next length of time we were apart. I would hold you until you pulled away first because I never would.’
I openly sobbed now and I struggled for some words to put it all right. I had nothing but pleading.
‘Heath,’ I said, and took a step closer to him. He blocked me and put his hands up in front of him.
‘No really, Cathy, don’t come any nearer.’
He would never admit to being so upset as to cry. In all the times Hindley beat him, he would never give Hindley the satisfaction of being broken and would never let me see his pained or tear-stained face, even as a young boy overpowered by my brute of a brother. And now, he blinked quickly not to show me tears or how his heart ached. This was not how it was supposed to go down – I don’t know how it was supposed to go.
‘I’ve missed you so—’ I began.
‘Not enough,’ he cut me off, anger flaring in her eyes. ‘You have not missed me enough in four weeks to keep me! You filled the void if there was any, with Edgar Linton.’ He said Edgar’s name like it was poison on his lips.
I stood to full height. Two could play at being angry and I had tried to reach him a hundred more times than he had tried to contact me. Who was thinking of who?