“You can hold him if you want to,” Callie stated, and it startled me.
With my free hand, I caressed her cheek. Callie smiled and raised her hand to hold mine.
“He’s perfect,” I whispered, and she nodded.
“Just like his father,” she said.
A single tear finally rolled down my cheek. Callie held onto my hand tightly, and I looked back at our son. The love I felt for both of them at that moment was all-consuming.
I was a dad.
I was his dad.
But the sad part was he would never know me as his father.
I moved my hand from his and rested it on his tummy to feel him breathing. I couldn’t believe I had made something so beautiful.
“How are you?” Callie asked, and I shook my head not knowing what to say. “I know how you feel, but trust me, it makes everything worth it when you hold him for the first time.”
I was nervous because I didn’t know how to hold a baby. But I put both hands into his crib and lifted him out, making sure to support his head. Aiden wriggled a little but then went straight back to sleep as soon as I cradled him in my arms.
My damn heart exploded, and my smile was so wide it hurt my cheeks, but I didn’t care. I was holding my son, and it felt so right. I looked over to Callie, and she was crying. I sat on the edge of her bed. She reached out and rested her hand on my knee and watched as I made stupid faces at our son.
It was the best moment of my life until I looked at his name tag on his crib—Aiden Niall Patrick O’Connell.
Yes, I had given him his first name, but his other three were all named after people I hated.
My teeth ground together, my muscles involuntarily tensed as my pulse sped up while a heat so insatiably hot ravaged my body. I flinched my knee away from Callie’s hand. I knew it was harsh, but I was hurt—yet again.
“What’s with his middle names?” I whispered.
“Mike, I’m sorry, but it was the only way I could get Niall to agree to name him Aiden and not Niall, Jr. I know that must be hard for you, but I swear, if it were up to me, his name would be Aiden Harrison O’Leary, but we can’t always get what we want, Mike. Neither you nor I can while Niall is in our lives,” she said, trying to sit up on the bed.
“Hey, don’t move... you need to rest. It’s okay. I knew how this was going to go. It was just a shock to see it, that’s all.” I exhale. “I’m sorry. I’m so happy and yet so devastatingly upset all at the same time. I don’t know how to deal with these emotions, Callie.” I bounced Aiden gently and then leaned down, kissing his tiny forehead.
“I know, Mike, I’m exactly the same. I truly wish things were different, but they can never be. I guess we made our bed this way, and now we have to live with the consequences of that decision,” she said as she wiped a tear away from her face.
“I will always be here, Callie. It’s you and me for eternity. Remember?”
“I remember,” she replied.
That’s when Niall walked back in.
That’s when my moment with my family was over.
“Isn’t he amazing, Mike?” Niall asked, walking over and taking Aiden, my son, away from me.
My stomach catapulted through the floor as I immediately mourned the loss.
“He’s more than amazing, sir,” I stated and looked over at Callie.
She smiled at me, and I stood and moved to exit. “I’ll leave the happy fami
ly in peace. Let me know when you need me to pick you up,” I said, and turned and walked out of the door.
When I got to the car, I sat in the seat and sobbed into the steering wheel, letting all the emotion out. I was always such a mess when it came to Callie—but I never, ever let anyone else see it. Now, I would have to be doubly careful with the addition of Aiden. I would have to work harder to keep my emotions in check. And I had no idea how I was going to manage that.
As time slowly passed, I’d drive Niall to work and then return to their mansion to spend the day with Aiden and Callie. Niall never figured it out even though I was always around for every birthday and special occasion. I made sure I was a key person in Aiden’s life, even if he didn’t know why. The first time he called Niall Daddy was the hardest thing I’d ever had to endure.