“I’m fine,” I lie as I make my way to the reception desk. She smiles but says nothing more.
Somehow, I manage to work without incident into the late afternoon when a customer walks into the salon who I recognize.
“Jenifer?” she asks.
“Sandy… it’s so good to see you. How are you?” I give the helpful nurse, after Jason beat me, a massive hug.
“Good, thanks. You look much better physically than you did last time I saw you. How are you holding up otherwise?” She holds me at arm’s length, her eyes moving over my body.
“I’m…” Words fail me.
She winces at my hesitation. “Oh, Jeni… I told you to call me anytime. I meant it.” Even though I do my hair and makeup for work, it’s not enough to really hide how I’ve been dealing with everything or the healing my body is still going through.
“Do you have an appointment?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No. Actually, I was just walking by and thought I would come in to make one.”
“Well, I can help you with that.”
“What time do you finish? We should get coffee, and you can fill me in with what’s been happening in your life.”
“I’d like that, a lot. Actually, I could probably head out now. My mom owns the salon. I’m sure she won’t mind if I skip out ten minutes early.”
“Sounds great.” Sandy smiles brightly.
After getting permission from Mom to leave a few minutes early, I gather my things, and Sandy and I walk across the street to the café where we sit and order coffee.
“Tell me… how’s Aiden?” I frown. “Uh-oh. Tell me everything.”
“Where do I start?”
“The beginning is usually a good place. I remember there were some issues.”
“I guess there’s some residual frustration. I blame him for what Jason…” I pause because even when I say it, it sounds so wrong, “… did to me.”
“Jeni, how’s this Aiden’s fault?” She scratches her head, and her eyebrows pull tightly together.
“If he didn’t leave me alone when Jason came for me, then maybe he could’ve saved me from this nightmare repeating over and over in my brain. I get no relief from it, Sandy.”
“You feel frustration toward Aiden because he wasn’t there to protect you?” I nod my head. “Can I ask why he wasn’t in the apartment at the time?”
I swallow hard, I guess I hadn’t thought about that part of the equation. “Because I’d broken a glass and cut my feet. Aiden was getting bandages for my cuts from his mother’s apartment.”
“Right, so now you’ve said that out loud, can you see how absurd it is that you’re blaming him?” I open my eyes wide with shock. “To me it sounds like h
e left the apartment to take care of you. I think that’s all he’s ever wanted to do, take care of you. He was gone for a moment, and something terrible happened in that moment that was completely out of his control. Aiden loves you, that was painfully obvious to me in the hospital, and I can tell from looking at you that you miss him terribly. You’re showing classic signs of PTSD, Jeni, and you’re using what happened to you as an excuse not to get hurt in any way again. Physically or emotionally.”
Sandy’s making me see the situation differently. Sometimes you need a stranger to make you see things straight—to make me see that maybe I have been wrong this whole damn time.
Gnawing on my bottom lip, my heart races a little faster. “I thought perhaps I might have PTSD. I’ve done a little research online because even I know I’m not thinking rationally. Even when I say it myself, I know I’m blaming the wrong person. I miss Aiden so much, and I know my thinking isn’t logical. I just don’t know why I’m doing this, Sandy.”
“So why are you here with me and not with him?” she asks, raising her brow with a smile.
I sigh slumping my shoulders. “He has a new girlfriend.”
She narrows her eyes and tilts her head to one side. “Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure. I saw Aiden with her yesterday.”