“Here? When Jason came in. You were only going to be five minutes. Why did you take so long? Why? Why didn’t you protect me? You said you would never let anyone hurt me,” I yell at him, and at that moment, it hits me.
I’m angry.
Angry with him for leaving when he did and not protecting me.
It’s a revelation to both him and me.
Except, I know it’s totally irrational, but I can’t seem to get my mind to stop the feelings.
I’m terrified I am going insane.
“I keep asking myself the same question, baby. All I want to do is protect and love you and keep you safe, and I failed. I know I did. I’ll make it up to you. I will prove that I love you beyond a shadow of a doubt and that we belong together. You know it’s true. Don’t you?”
I find the strength to stand and make my way past him and to the closet to grab a small suitcase.
“What are you doing?”
“I have to go. I can’t stay here. There are too many memories. I’m too confused,” I say piling clothes into the suitcase.
He touches my arm, and I flinch.
I spin around and stare into his eyes. “I can’t be with you.”
He holds my arm softly. “Jeni…”
I shake my arm and push his chest, making him step backward.
“Jeni, please,” he begs.
I continue packing and make my way to the ensuite. Every step is an effort for me.
“Jeni, we need to talk about this. You don’t have to leave. We will get counseling. I’ll sleep on the sofa. Anything. Just don’t leave.”
“I have to. I can’t stay here.”
“Then we’ll go somewhere else. We can go on a vacation, just you and me, anywhere you want to go. We can go back to Vienna. Or to the beachside cottage. Anywhere, baby. You name it.”
“No,” I respond simply.
He looks around the room frantically searching for something to help him with his plight. “What about us? What does this mean?”
“There is no us right now.” I move back into the bedroom, and he follows like a lost puppy.
“I’m sorry, I wish I was quicker. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”
“Wishing never gets you anywhere. It doesn’t change the fact that you weren’t here.”
“I’ll always love you. Don’t leave. I can’t do this without you.” His eyes are full of tears.
“You’ll have to learn.” I zip up my luggage and shuffle out of the bedroom.
He follows me to the elevator with a look of panic and yet, somehow, defeat.
“I tried, Aiden. I did. But I can’t bear to be near you at the moment, and I definitely can’t be here in this apartment. There’s too many memories...”
“So, there’s hope, then? You’ll come back after you’ve had some time?”
“I don’t know… all I do know is I can’t be with you right now.”