If I go home, I’m agreeing to go back to the apartment with Aiden, alone.
“Do you want me to tell Aiden to come in?” Mom asks, obviously trying to get me to alter my decision.
My entire body tenses involuntarily.
“Perhaps he should wait a little longer. She’s had an extremely rough day, and maybe she needs some rest,” Sandy states.
Mom looks at her and frowns. “He’s still out there waiting for you to call him in. He looks terrible, and all he wants is you.”
I feel bad, but I don’t waver.
My mind is made up.
“I’m tired. Maybe I should get some rest,” I counter as Sandy takes my hand.
Mom frowns but kisses my forehead. “Know that I love you, Aiden loves you, we all love you, and we want you back.”
I swallow hard and sigh. “I love you, too.”
Mom leaves the room, and Sandy holds my hand tightly. “Is there a reason you don’t want to see your fiancé?” I nod. “Is it because he’s male?” I shrug. “Has he ever hurt you?”
It seems she knows what I’m going through, and I think I can trust her to open up. “Not intentionally. He was a bit rough during sex this one time, but he didn’t hurt me.”
“So, because of that, you think he could get rough with you again? I don’t think that’s enough to break your relationship. There must be more to it than that?”
“There is… my ex... Jason, the man who put me in here. He was mentally abusive to start, then he turned physical. Aiden’s father is mentally abusive toward me, and he pulled me off a ladder that led to me miscarrying. I am worried the pattern could repeat with Aiden.”
“You know, not everyone turns out like their parents. Some make conscious decisions to ensure they won’t.”
“I know, but I hate not knowing what he’ll be like in ten, twenty, fifty years’ time. What if he turns out exactly like his father?”
“Then you deal with that then. Tomorrow is another day. We should live for today. I have to say it’s unfair on your fiancé to class him like that. If you give up on him now, then won’t you always wonder, what if? What if he doesn’t turn out like his father? What if you throw away a perfectly good relationship because you are scared of something that may never happen?”
I breathe in slowly as what she says rings true. What if Aiden turns out nothing like Niall? Then I’d be throwing us away because of Jason, which is exactly what Jason wanted.
Is this a light-bulb moment?
“I’m not ready to see Aiden, but if I go home tomorrow, I’ll talk this through with him then. See what he says and decide from there.”
“Good plan.”
“Thank you, Sandy, for everything. It’s like you understand me and what I’m going through,” I tell her sincerely.
“I do,” she says quietly. “I do know exactly what you’re going through. My ex-partner beat me and my family. He killed my parents and nearly killed me, so I know exactly how you feel. I also understand your fear of men. I know all about that, too… it gets easier with time, and I find that surrounding myself with things to keep me busy helps as well. That’s why I stayed with you, Jenifer. You remind me of me when I was in here, looking just like you do now and questioning everything I stood for.”
My chest heaves as I look at her with tears in my eyes. “Oh my God, Sandy, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. Yes, of course I wish my parents were still here with me every second of every day, but wishing doesn’t get you anywhere. You have to move on. I feel like a stronger person because of it. I know it sounds strange, but in a way, it helps me because I know how to help people who go through the same thing… like you. This will make you a stronger woman. Trust me on that.”
“I don’t know how to recover from this.” I shake my head.
“Everyone’s different, but you will recover. Of that, I’m sure.”
I look at her and see a brave young woman who has the scars of torment like me, but it seems she’s coping with it all the same.
Maybe this will get easier.
Maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel as they say.