Theroom shifts to darkness as Aiden rolls over on his tattered mattress. The cell is small and dank, leaving him shivering uncontrollably. I watch him through the bars as a tear rolls down my cheek. A glimmer of something obscure stands in the background as he tries to sleep. His eyes are closed, but the figure floats toward him—dark, endless, black nothingness fills the room as he opens his eyes. He rolls over to see the shadowy black figure drifting toward him. Sitting up in bed, his back to the wall, he squints his eyes as the figure surges toward him. Lifting him from the mattress by the neck, the dark figure strangles him.Aiden tries to call out for help, but when he opens his mouth, blackness floods his throat. I reach through the bars in an attempt to take hold of him, but he’s so far away. Before I can do anything more, the blackness engulfs him completely, and my Aiden is gone.
Suddenly, I wake, my hands gripping tightly to the pillow Aiden used to sleep on. Somehow, feeling him close to me causes my heart to slow back to a normal rhythm as I take deep, calming breaths. The light is still on from a couple of hours ago when I woke from the same nightmare. I would’ve thought by now, I’d be used to this, but the nightmare still devastates me every single time. Taking another calming breath, I look at the bedside clock. It’s five in the morning. Out of nowhere, the sentencing of Aiden’s trial slams to the forefront of my mind.
“We are here today for the sentencing of Aiden O’Connell. Mr. O’Connell, you have been found guilty of embezzlement by jury verdict...” More words were spoken but I was barely able to comprehend them. “… I’ll now impose the following sentence. I’m ordering you to be committed to the custody of the state prison for a term of eighty-four months or seven years. A good behavior bond will be set at forty months.”
Seven years without Aiden.
My heart hammered in my chest as my eyes slowly filled with tears. I was undeniably lost inside my own thoughts.
How could this be happening?
I’d just found him, and now I had lost him in the blink of an eye.
Softly I cried into my hands as Aiden was taken. He looked back at me, all hope gone. His shoulders slumped as they escorted him away, this time in handcuffs. There was no struggle, no resistance like at the trial.
Watching him leave, I couldn’t believe he’d been incarcerated for something I knew in my heart he had no hand in. And in that moment, I felt my life change irrevocably forever.
Coffee, I need coffee. Getting up from our bed, I head to the kitchen to make a cup I so desperately need. I find myself drinking it black these days since it reminds me of him. The apartment feels empty as I shuffle from the kitchen to the living room to sit on the sofa. I turn on the television to the early morning news where they’re still covering the major embezzlement story from Mornington Vale’s biggest financial corporation.
Sighing, I switch the channel to cartoons—the Road Runner speeds down a track while Wylie E. Coyote tries to push a boulder onto the road in order to capture his prey. He, as usual, fails miserably, fumbling around like a lost soul.
Much like I am right now.
I’m numb as I drink my coffee still wearing gray sweatpants and a shirt of Aiden’s. It’s been three days since the sentencing, and Niall has been demanding that I remove Aiden’s possessions from his office. Like I’m not struggling enough as it is without having that asshole breathing down my damn neck.
Sarah’s constantly asking me to come back to her house and take up my old room, but I can’t leave this place. I need to be close to Aiden—his smell, his belongings, his everything. I need every reminder I can get. Because the next seven years without him doesn’t seem a reality. So being away from the apartment we shared together just doesn’t sit right with me.
After walking to the ensuite, I wash my face and look at myself in the mirror. I look pale, gaunt, thin, and generally terrible, shocking even. But I don’t care. I simply wish Aiden were here. I exhale, brushing my knotted hair and teeth. Choosing my jeans and one of Aiden’s polo shirts, I pull them on, trying to feel close to him.
I’ll be heading into the office today to grab Aiden’s things, so I messaged Mike letting him know I’m ready to go in. I don’t know if ‘ready’ is the right word, but I pull my shit together enough to get this done.
A short time later, Mike’s waiting for me as I step to the elevator, and we move down to the parking garage. Concern is etched all over his face when he sees me. This is the first time I’ve left the apartment since Aiden’s sentencing, the weight of all that has happened leaving me exhausted.
“Miss Taylor, are you sure you should be doing this today?” Mike asks with hesitancy in his voice.
With a mindless shrug, I stare at him. He exhales, opening the front passenger door for me, and I make my way awkwardly into the car. “Miss Taylor, have you eaten anything since I saw you last?” he asks.
I don’t answer. He takes my silence as a no—the correct assumption.
He sighs audibly and starts the car, seemingly frustrated with me. To be honest, I’m frustrated with myself. Before all this happened, I was working hard to be a stronger version of Jeni. To be tougher than the woman I had fallen into, but now, all I feel is weak.
Broken.
Lost.
A fucking shell of myself all over again.
The drive to the office is a strained silence. I wish I could be more, do more, find the strength to talk to Mike. He’s hurting too. But my pain without Aiden is all-encompassing, and I am drowning in an agonizing existence.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” Mike asks as we pull up at O’Connell Finance.
Answering with a shake of my head, I step out of the car while nervous butterflies flitter around in my stomach. Slowly, I walk up the stairs to the automatic doors, then over to the reception desk where Josie and the other girl are working quietly. Josie spots me, her sympathetic stare does me no favors so I ignore her. I continue to the elevator, taking the ride to Aiden’s office. My heart pounds as I get closer, and a slight twinge of nausea follows.
The doors open, and I see Rachelle sitting at her desk. Her eyes float up and down my body as her mouth drops open when she sees me.
I know I look like shit. You don’t have to confirm it for me!
Ignoring her obvious stare, I walk into the foyer, take a deep breath, and move over toward my desk. The flowers Aiden gave me on my first day are shriveled and decaying.