“Yeah.” It was the first time he’d spoken the words since he’d been on the witness stand, in front of a jury of people who wouldn’t have hesitated to prosecutehimif they’d had the chance. “And it was my fault. If I’d vetted my clients more carefully, she might still be alive.”
“I…” She blew out a breath. “Wow.”
He let a wave of self-loathing crash down on top of him. If it suffocated him, that was no less than he deserved. Finally, he forced himself to look her in the eye, hating the doubt he saw there, and the despair that had arisen from discovering he wasn’t the man she’d believed him to be.
He could relate. He wasn’t the man he’d thought he was, either.
“Mark is right,” he told her. “You shouldn’t trust me, and you can’t rely on me.”
She took his words like blows, jerking back as each one landed. “You haven’t done anything to hurt me,” she said. “You protected me from Charles. You’re not that guy.”
“Haven’t I hurt you?” he asked, standing to pace the length of the room. “How are you feeling right now?”
She didn’t answer, and he kept his back to her, unable to bear seeing her look at him with the disgust she no doubt felt. He had to get her out of there.
“You should leave Sanctuary and let the professionals protect you. I have no place filling that role, and they’ll do a better job than I ever could.” He scrubbed a hand over his bearded cheek. “I’ve already proved I bring nothing but trouble.” Coming to a halt, he stared at the wall, waiting to hear the swing of the door as she left. It didn’t come.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered. “You don’t have a computer, and your phone wasn’t built this decade. I’m not even sure it was built last decade. It can’t be true.”
His shoulders slumped, but he didn’t turn around. “It is. Everything you thought you knew about me was a lie. Accept it, and move on.”
There was a reason he didn’t have top-of-the-line technology. He couldn’t be trusted with it. Technology was his vice. Like an alcoholic, he couldn’t resist imbibing if it was around, so he kept it far away.
He could tell from her silence that she was finally getting it. The last pieces of the puzzle were dropping into place. That didn’t make it hurt any less when the silence stretched out. He touched the spot above his heart. It ached for her. With every beat, it yearned for her to come to him, wrap her arms around his waist, and tell him it didn’t matter. When he finally turned, the expression of utter betrayal on her face slammed into him as effectively as a brick wall.
“You want me to leave?” she demanded. “You want me to let the police handle things?”
He swallowed, torn between wishing he could erase the pain from her eyes and wanting to push her away so she didn’t get hurt.
“Yes,” he said. “I think that would be best.”
“Okay.” She wrapped her arms around her waist. “I guess this is goodbye, then.”
Every step she took toward the exit put another crack through his heart. When the latch clicked softly behind her, he told himself it was just as well she’d learned the truth before they got in too deep. But he felt broken inside. Shattered. Torn apart.
I miss her. I want her.
She’s better off without me.
26
Leaving Tione’s cabin,Megan felt oddly detached, like a bird hovering above her body, watching her actions but feeling nothing. Everything was numb. Her skin, her feet—as she tripped over a root—and her heart. She weaved between the gardens and crossed the lawn on autopilot, her mind replaying the conversation that had ended moments prior. Tione hadn’t denied a thing. She’d actually believed that she’d found someone to trust, but she didn’t know him at all.
She was a fool. A naïve little fool.
What was wrong with her that she only chose men who hurt her? Her judgment must be fundamentally flawed. Not only could she not trusthim, but she could no longer trustherself. Choosing the wrong man once was a mistake, but twice was a pattern.
She ripped the foyer door open and stalked to her bedroom, anger simmering beneath the surface. She’d been so close to moving on, and now this. One thing was for certain, she’d never be able to believe in a man again. She’d be alone for the rest of her days, all because she couldn’t tell the difference between a knight in shining armor and a black-hearted knave.
It was only when she reached her room that she noticed Pixie trotting behind her. The Chihuahua tried to follow her inside, but she closed the door between them. She couldn’t handle any reminder of Tione right now. She needed to leave. To be gone. To put distance between herself and the man in the cabin. All of their kisses and touches and promises had been lies.
A paw scratched on the other side of the door.
“Go away!”
The scratching didn’t stop, so she threw a sneaker, which hit with a thud. Through the wood, she could hear feet scamper off.
“Good,” she murmured to herself, tossing her belongings into her bag. She went to the bathroom and collected her toothbrush but left the travel-size tubes of soap, shampoo, and conditioner behind. They weren’t hers to take. Finally, she dragged the bag down the hall to Kat’s apartment, and hammered on the door.