“No, I’m sure that’s not what he expected at all. I’m sure—" Remy broke off then squinted at her. “Are youcrying?”
Yes. She swiped her hand over her cheek. “I don’t talk about my family with a lot of people.”
“Don’tcry.”
“It’s not like I can control the tears at will!” She swiped again. “When I get upset, I cry sometimes. It’s a normal thing.”
He lumbered toward her, eliminating the last bit of distance between them. Frowned more. Squinted more.
“I miss them,” she said. “I miss my grandfather. He was the only family I ever really knew. I hate that I didn’t get to know my parents. I hate that they thought they needed to take guns into abank and…” A sob. Dammit. She shoved her hand to her mouth to muffle the sound.
Meanwhile, Remy stared at her with abject horror on his handsome face. Wonderful. Jacqueline huffed out a breath. “I’m sure your family was lovely.” Those picture-perfect families that she saw in TV specials. “Your mother and father probably are extremely proud of you.” How would they not be proud of an FBI agent who so willingly helped people over and over again?
But bitter laughter poured from Remy. “Proud is not the word my father would ever have used.”
She didn’t understand. “Remy?”
“My parents are dead, too. My mother died a very long time ago, and she was wonderful. An angel with a smile that lit up a room.” His nostrils flared. “She had the misfortune to marry the devil. He made it a habit to get involved with the wrong crowd and do dangerous, illegal shit every chance he got.”
Her hand reached out. Pressed to his chest. “I’m sorry.”
“Why be sorry that he chose to be a bastard? And that he wanted me to be just like him?” A bitter smile tugged at his lips. “Always the disappointment, that’s what I was. And in the end, he even died because of me. Died to save my ass, though I’m sure he probably regretted the choice.”
What?Shock rolled through her. His father had died protecting Remy? She could hear the echoes of pain and anger in his voice, and Jacqueline wanted to throw her arms around him and hold on tight. No, more than that. She wanted to take away his pain. To help him, as he kept helping her. “Remy, I’m certain your dad loved you. If he died saving you, surely you see that? We protect the ones we love. Those who matter.”
“Very little mattered to my father. He trained me from a young age. Had an idea of what I was supposed to be.” Clipped. “I didn’t turn out how he wanted.”
“Of course, you did! Remy, you’regood.I’m sorry he didn’t get to live long enough to see how wonderful you are. You’re strong and brave and you help people.”
“Sweetness, you don’t know me.”
She fisted his shirt in her hand. “I do. I know you’re the man who has been my hero when I needed someone at my side. You arehelpingme. I will never be able to repay the kindness you have shown to me.” And…he needs this.She surged closer and threw her arms around him. She hugged him as tightly as she could.
His whole body tensed. “What are you doing?”
It should have been obvious. “Hugging you.” Also, she was trying not to touch his holster or gun.
“Why?” Gruff. A little ragged.
“Because you need to be hugged.” Clearly.
His arms slowly closed around her. “You were the one crying.”
“Sometimes, it can feel good to cry.”
“I’d rather you never cried again.”
An odd statement. She hugged him tighter. “And I’d rather you not be sad.”
“That’swhy you’re hugging me? Because you think I’m sad?” More bitter laughter. “I’m not. My old man was trouble. My life got a lot easier when he was gone.”
She didn’t let go of him. “You can lie to yourself, but you don’t need to lie to me. I’ll take you exactly as you are.”
And suddenly, he was hugging her back. Tightly. Almost crushing her. “No,” he muttered near her ear. “You won’t.”
Why would he say that? Her head tilted back so she could stare up at him. “Why won’t you think that you’re a good man?”
So many emotions flashed across his face.