“I was only protecting you.”
“I know.” I moved up and touched a hand to his chest, moving him back so I could sit on his lap. I liked getting up close. One of his hands went to my leg, anchoring me in place. “I know all of that. I know why you did it. I’m just saying that’s a little scary, but—” I held up a hand when he started to say something. “—I realized today that I have somewhat hid from life. I think. I hid in work. I hid in my family. I hid when I didn’t go to graduate school. I even hid in my ex. Remember Jarrod?”
His hand curled around me. “The offer to beat him up still stands. I don’t think I scared him enough.”
I smiled a little at that. “In the grand scheme of things, Jarrod was no one to me. I hid in him because problems my parents were having, and then I hid in Roy because Roy was everything Jarrod wasn’t. Roy was a good guy. Kind. Nice. Not flashy. Not charismatic. Roy was like me. He was steady.”
“Not enjoying hearing about the either ex. It makes me want to do something stupid, again.” He gave a low growl.
I held up a hand. “I’m getting to my point. Roy worked all the time, but now, looking back, I think he was hiding too. He was like me in that way. Then he met someone, and he fell head over heels for her. I didn’t understand. I was okay with it, but I just didn’t understand.” I tipped my head back to get a better look at him, moving so I was straddling him. Both of his hands moved to my back, one slid down to my ass, palming me. The warmth just kept getting warmer inside of me. “Until you.”
“Me?”
“Until I fell in love with you.”
His whole face softened, and the corner of his mouth lifted. “You love me?”
I nodded, so serious. “You scare me. You unnerve me. You challenge me. You are the opposite of me in so many ways. And you make me live. You make me smile. You make me laugh. You make me feel loved, and that scares me, but Zeke, there is no one like you. No one will ever be like you. You are the foundation that supports others, and you are a foundation for yourself. You don’t need anyone to stand for you, and I don’t think you even realize that about yourself. You’ve not asked anyone to stand for you, but I will. I want to. I want to be the one who helps you stand at times.”
“Babe.”
“I started thinking about all the firsts I’ve had with you. My first beer. The first time someone broke into my apartment and crashed my pity party in the bathtub.”
“Speaking of, we should do that again. Tub sex is fun.”
I grinned but felt all the tenderness swelling up inside of me for him. “The first house party where it was where I was living. My first time watching someone hack. My first time finding out someone I knew had blackmailed someone elseforme, to protect me.” I leaned in until my forehead was resting against his. “The truth is that you terrify me. You are so full of life, and you come in and that whole world is at your beck and call. You are larger than life sometimes, and there I was, hiding from life and you blew everything away until it was just me. Just you. And somehow, in the middle of all of that, I fell in love with you and that made me even more terrified, but you know what’s worse?”
His eyes were so tender. He lifted a hand and ran the side of his knuckle down my face, real gentle. “What?”
“That now that I’ve had you, I can’t not have you. You’ve ruined me. You gave me sunshine when I didn’t know I needed it, and now all I want is your sunshine. You can’t take it back, even if I’m the reason. You can’t do that. That’s what terrifies me the most now. Losing you.”
“Babe,” he whispered, his forehead resting against mine. “You’re sorely underestimating me. I’m like cling wrap. Once I care, you’d need to murder me to get me to let you go. I consider it my superhuman trait. I’m not going anywhere.”
I shuddered in his arms, and he shifted us so I was even closer to him. He ran his hands up and down my back, going to my hips and holding me in place. “Something else where you and I are different was today. You thought we broke up, and to me, I just heard you asking for some space. I gave you an hour before I started looking for you, and look at me. I was waiting for you to call and either yell at me, or I don’t know. I was just waiting for you, because no matter how I get your attention, it’salllike sunshine to me. You being here. You texting me. You getting mad at me. You yelling at me. I’m okay with it because it’s you. You’re my fuzzy dandelion.”
“What?”
“A fuzzy dandelion. You know those flowers. They’re fuzzy and you blow on them to grant you a wish. That’s you. You’re my wish.”
I couldn’t. Laughter bubbled up inside of me. “They’re a weed and they’re so hard to get rid of.”
“Then maybe I’m your fuzzy dandelion. I like them the most when they’re fuzzy. They’re the wish granters. The yellow ones are pretty too. You can be the yellow dandelions, my sunshine in a flower, and I’ll be the fuzzy ones. See. We’re not so different. We’re perfect for each other. We’re the same flower.”
He was grinning so wide, thinking he was so smart.
“The same weed?”
“I’m the weed. You’re the flower.”
I shook my head because he was getting it wrong. He was the flower right with me. And I could just imagine all the dandelions he’d find for me from now on, but I’d love it. I let out a soft sigh and settled back against him. “I love you.”
He got all serious. “I love you too. But do me a favor?”
“What?”
“I am predicting that we’re going to have a long future of times where you’re going to get mad at me because I’ve done something stupid because I just do that at times. You’re going to call on the girls, and they’re going to swoop you up and you might even declare you’re done with men. But if you do that, remember that I’m your dandelion. Pretty to look at it, but always there. And when you calm down and start missing your fuzzy dandelion, you call me, and I’ll come running. I’m not going anywhere, but also, don’t take this in a scary way because I’m adandelion. I’m not a stalker. I’m thinking about the words I’m using and want to clarify that. Weed. Not stalker.”
“The wish flower. Got it.” I fought back my own laugh. “This is the time when you can shut up and kiss me.”