“Understatement of the century,” I murmured.
“But you have to understand that our lives are different, Celeste. Surely, you know that.”
“Really, after everything we’ve been through, you’re going to throw that in my face? I never once judged you or where you came from, Harleigh, not once.”
“I know.” She wrung out the towel and started dabbing my knee. I winced. “Sorry, I’ll try and be careful.”
“It’s fine.”
“Look, Celeste, I’m not judging you. You’re a good person. One of the best people I know. But we both know that your mom doesn’t want you hanging around with me, Chloe, and the guys. I don’t want to cause you any more trouble than I already have.”
“And what? I get no say in it? Do you have any idea what it’s been like since you left? I have no one, Harleigh. I don’t even have Miles anymore. I spend my days alone. Do you know how horrible that feels? To know you don’t have anyone.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Silence filled the space between us. Thick, heavy silence. In her own weird way, I knew Harleigh was only trying to protect me. Maybe even protect herself. But I was so fed up with everyone around me thinking they knew what was best for me.
“I had sex with Zane,” I blurted.
“What?” Disbelief rippled over her expression, and I nodded.
“In the back of my car. And do you know what? I don’t regret it. I don’t regret it at all because I like him. And I think he likes me, even though he’s too damn stubborn to admit it.”
“Oh, Celeste.” Harleigh gave me a sad smile, and I frowned.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because I warned you not to get tangled up with him.”
“But we had sex, Harleigh.” My stomach clenched just thinking about it, my cheeks burning. “That has to mean something.”
He kept trying to push me away, but it was what boys did when they got spooked. And he wouldn’t get spooked unless there was something there.
“Maybe you could talk to him or get Nix to talk to him. I bet his grandma is in my corner. She seems to—”
“His grandma? Zane’s grandma?”
“Yeah, I went over there yesterday and took her some flowers and dinner. I wanted to make sure she was okay.”
“Okay? Celeste, slow down. I don’t understand what you’re saying. You’ve been hanging out with Zane and his grandma?”
“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say hanging out… So, will you do it? Will you or Nix talk to him? Because I think if—”
“No.”
“No?” I stared at her with disbelief. “But I just told you—”
“Celeste.” She took my hands in hers. “Listen to me. Whatever is going on between you and Zane, it isn’t healthy. He’s using you, babe. And I think in your own way, you’re using him too.”
“What? That’s not true. I’m not using him. I like him, Harleigh. I really like him.”
“Just think about it for a second. How does being around Zane make you feel?”
I snatched my hand away, a sinking feeling going through me. “You think I’m acting out.”
“That’s not what I said. I just think you’re not thinking rationally about this. It’s completely normal to want to experiment and be a little reckless. We’ve all been there.”