The house was quiet when I got home. Mom and Dad had said they might join the Vaughns for their annual Halloween dinner party. And my brother Max was nowhere to be seen.
Not that he was around much these days.
If I was sunshine, Max was thunder. A dark shadow hung over him lately.
I kicked off my pumps and hid them out of the way in the sideboard, then went into the kitchen in search of commiseration snacks. If there was ever a universal response to being cruelly rejected by a guy you harbored a secret crush on, it was eating your feelings.
I didn’t head up to my bedroom, instead going to the roof terrace. Dropping my supplies on the small table, I grabbed a blanket and sat in the rattan egg chair, staring out at the view of Old Darling Hill in the distance.
I’d never really come up to the roof terrace before Harleigh moved in. But she’d loved it up here. And now she was gone, and it was the only place I still felt close to her.
A sister.
I had a sister.
It had been a shock last year, finding out that she was coming to live with us. Everything happened so fast, but I never resented her, not once. Not like Max who didn’t take the news well at all.
I was just so grateful to have another girl in the house, someone to talk to and share things with. Little did I know, it wouldn’t be anything like the picture-perfect scene I’d painted in my head.
But no matter what had happened over the last year, I loved Harleigh something fierce. I was so happy for her and Nix. That they got to have the life together they’d always dreamed of.
Even if I lost her again.
I refused to believe that would happen though. We were family. Sisters. That meant something. Something that not even space and distance could sever.
My cell vibrated and I smiled to myself. That was probably her now, checking to see if I’d made it home okay.
Except, when I opened my messages, it wasn’t Harleigh at all.
Miles: I’m sorry I left. I’m confused, Celeste. I don’t want to lose you, but I’m not sure I can pretend nothing happened either.
Ugh. Miles was… well, he was my best friend. The one person I’d always been able to count on. But somewhere the lines had blurred, and I’d convinced myself that maybe we could be more than friends. And now, there was every chance I was going to lose him too. The one constant in my life.
But I couldn’t force myself to feel something that wasn’t there.
I wouldn’t.
It wasn’t fair to him, or me.
Me: I get it, and I’m sorry too. You’re my best friend, Miles. I don’t want to lose you. But I can’t pretend to feel something I don’t. xo
He didn’t reply, and really, I didn’t blame him. Things had gotten messed up. We’d both said hurtful things. But maybe he was right. Maybe they both were.
Maybe I was the problem.
Maybe I should have been grateful for my life and all that came with it. Maybe I should have settled for the nice, safe boyfriend who didn’t make my heart race or stomach flutter.
Maybe that was the life I was destined for.
A life of propriety and expectation.
But I wanted more.
I did.
I wanted to choose my own path. To make mistakes and get it wrong. To look back in ten years’ time and have zero regrets. But going against the grain meant going against my parents…
Going against everything I’d ever known.