Celeste: Give me five. xo
Sticking to the trees and shrubs lining the Mulligans’ driveway, I hovered by Celeste’s Range Rover. Part of me wondered if I should have stayed with Nix and Jessa. If Joe returned angry, or worse: drunk and angry, who knew what might happen.
God, it didn’t bear thinking about. The anger that had exploded from Nix when Joe had inadvertently hit Jessa was a side of him I’d never seen before. And I didn’t doubt that was what Zane was talking about. Nix was different. An unpredictable storm. And I’d done that.
Me.
Even though I hadn’t meant to, I had.
My chest tightened, my breaths coming in short, sharp bursts. It was too much, like a band around my ribs, slowly crushing the air from my lungs.
Breathe, Harleigh. Breathe.
But I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t stop thinking about earlier, about the state of Joe’s face, the conversation I’d overheard, the way Jessa’s nose had exploded with blood. It was a stark reminder that Nix’s life had moved on while I was gone. And if this morning was anything to go by, it had only gotten worse in my absence.
“Harleigh?”
I almost jumped out of my skin at the sound of Celeste’s voice.
She frowned, her expression falling. “You’re not okay.” She reached for me, but I held up my hand, dragging in a deep breath.
“Can we just go?”
“Of course.” Grabbing the passenger door, she opened it and I hauled myself inside, dropping my head back against the leather headrest.
“Can I do anything?” Celeste asked, climbing into her seat.
“No, I’ll be okay.”
“I’m here, Harleigh. If you need to stop or go to the ER or—”
“I’m fine,” I snapped through gritted teeth, digging my nails into my palms.
At least, I would be just as soon as we got back to the house and I locked myself in my bedroom.
It was silly really, to think that because I’d had a few panic attack free days that it wasn’t still there, lurking, waiting to strike. This wasn’t something I would just get over. It was a part of me now, always there under the surface, like a slumbering beast.
Maybe I would never be able to control it, but I could control how I responded to it.
I could take back some of the power.
I followed Celeste into the house, completely drained.
“I think I’m going to head straight up to my room,” I said, heading for the stairs. But Sabrina’s voice gave me pause.
“Girls, in the kitchen please. Now.”
Not again. I squeezed my eyes closed, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“Come on,” Celeste said. “It’s probably nothing.”
If this morning had taught me anything, it was that luck really wasn’t on my side.
Begrudgingly, I trailed after her.
“Late night?” Sabrina cocked a brow as she cut into a piece of melon.
“I told you we were staying at Miles’s.”