I instantly let go, apologizing.
“Shh, B. It’s not your fault. Fuck.” He flipped onto his back, sucking in a pained breath. “This was not at all how I saw tonight going.”
“What can I do?” I asked, silently willing my heart to calm down.
“You being here is enough, I promise.” He reached for my hand, tangling our fingers together.
I nestled into his side, listening to the steady rise and fall of his chest. For a second, I thought he’d fallen asleep again. But then he said, “Will you tell me about that day?”
“Wh-what do you want to know?”
“All of it, B. I need to know all of it.”
“I…” Fear knocked the air from my lungs. “I’m not ready.”
“Okay.” Disappointment clung to his words, cooling the air around us. I didn’t want it to be like this. I wanted the heat back, the fire.
Tugging his hand with mine, I brushed it down his stomach and over the bulge in his boxer briefs.
“Birdie…”
“Show me,” I forced the words past my lips. “Show me how you like it.”
Fingers still twined together with his, I tugged at the waistband of Nix’s boxers and he lifted his hips, letting me push them down. I could just make out the shadow of his hard length.
“Fist it,” he said thickly, and I closed our fingers around him.
“Now what?”
I knew what to do, I wasn’t stupid. But there was something so incredibly hot about letting him guide me.
“Pump up and down, slow at first, putting a little twist on the upstroke.” I did right as he asked and he breathed, “Yeah, just like that. Fuck.”
A thrill went through me. I liked hearing his ragged breaths, feeling him tense beneath me.
“A little harder.” He closed his fingers tighter around mine, guiding me. “Like this. Fuck, B, don’t stop.”
He started thrusting in our joined hands as we pumped him faster, harder.
“I want to taste you,” the words tumbled out before I knew what they meant.
“Shit, B, you don’t have to—”
“I want to.”
“You sure?”
I nodded, moving down the bed slightly, and leaning over him. Nix threaded his hand into my hair as I grasped his dick again, lowering my mouth to the tip.
My body hummed with nerves. I’d never done this before, but I’d imagined it with Nix. Only ever with Nix.
I flicked my tongue out, flattening it against him and dragging it upward. He drew in a sharp breath, hissing between his teeth as I slowly sank my mouth down on him.
“Fuuuuck, B, fuck.” His grip in my hair tightened, but it was possessive rather than painful, making my stomach curl with lust.
With zero experience, I did what felt natural, licking and sucking, using my hand to slowly pump the base.
Nix gathered all my hair and wrapped it around his fist, the heat of his stare almost too much as I drove him wild.