“Safe enough.” He dropped a kiss on my head and there was something so intimate about it, so right, that I got a little choked up.
Silence followed us into the rickety old building. Nix was right; structurally, it seemed sound, but the rest of the place was a mess. The windows had long been blown out, destroyed by the elements and kids looking for a quick adrenaline rush no doubt. Dirt and debris littered the floor, crunching underneath my sneakers.
“How many times have you been out here?”
He shrugged. “A few. Usually, I just sit in my car, but when I first started coming out here, I used to explore the place. There’s an office back here.”
We left the main warehouse and slipped into a hall, the air thick with dust. Anticipation vibrated inside me, making my skin tingle, as my thoughts flickered to last night again.
A small puff of air left my lips as Nix pulled me into a small room and pushed me up against the wall. “Alone at last.” His eyes glittered in the murky light, provided by a single small window high up on one of the walls. Hands pressed at either side of my head, he leaned in, rubbing his nose along my jaw.
“This is harder than I thought it would be.”
“What is?” I raised a brow, though my voice quivered.
He chuckled softly. “I meant keeping my hands to myself. Behaving.” Inhaling a thin breath, he whispered, “I can’t stop thinking about last night.”
“Me neither.” My lashes fluttered as I gazed up at him.
The torrent of emotions bubbling inside of me were how I’d always imagined it would be, when I was just a girl with stars in her eyes and love in her heart. I’d worshiped Nix as a girl. A young, naïve girl who’d truly believed that she’d found her soul mate. The other half of her heart. All the girls, the drama, the endless disappointment of watching him kiss lips that weren’t mine and hold hands that didn’t belong to me had sucked, it had sucked so damn much. But deep down, it didn’t matter because Phoenix Wilder was mine. Just as I was his. And nothing could come between that.
Nothing but my father.
The thought was like a lead balloon in my stomach.
“Harleigh?” Nix slid one of his hands into my hair, cupping the nape of my neck. “What is it?”
“I hate him, Nix. I hate him so much. What he did… what I did because I thought you…” Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I inhaled deeply.
“I know, Birdie. I know.” He brushed his lips over mine. “But he didn’t break us. He didn’t break you.”
Nix’s conviction should have reassured me, but I still had doubts. Because something had broken in me that night. Something I wasn’t sure I would ever get back. Being here with Nix helped. His touch, his heated gaze, and reverent touch all eased the gaping hole inside me. But some scars were simply too deep to heal.
“Hey,” he whispered when I stood there, rooted to the spot, my body quivering. “What is it? What’s wrong?” His eyes searched mine, shining with nothing but unconditional love.
I’m broken, I swallowed the words. Fractured and lost.
I loved him, I knew that. Loved him with every fiber of my being. But sometimes love wasn’t enough.
It hadn’t been enough for my father. And it hadn’t been enough for my mom. Just like it hadn’t been enough for Nix’s mom either.
We were surrounded by people who had proved that love didn’t fix anything. So could we really believe love could fix this?
“B, talk to me,” he pleaded.
“I’m okay.” I lied, kissing him back. Letting the taste of him, the glide of his tongue against mine distract me from the dark thoughts pushing to the surface of my mind.
He tried to pull away, no doubt to finish the conversation. To push me for answers. But I laced my arms around his neck, anchoring us together.
“If I didn’t know better,” he rasped onto my lips. “I’d say you were trying to distract me.”
“Is it working?” Soft laughter chased my words, so soft it was almost believable.
“The things I want to do to you, B.” His hands skated down my waist, slipping around my hips and yanking me closer. Erasing every inch of space between our bodies as he pressed me against the wall, grinding into me.
“Nix.” His name was a choked sigh.
“Tell me what you want, B. Anything, I’ll give you anything.”