But I hadn’t been lying the other day when I told him I was tired of everything. The lies, deceits, and half-truths.
The betrayal.
Last night, lying in Nix’s arms, listening to him confess his fears, had made me realize something. It made me realize that being afraid was okay. That not being able to control everything was okay. Being scared didn’t make you weak. It was what you did with that fear that determined what kind of person you were.
You could drown in it, let it suffocate and ruin you. Or you could fight against the tide and face it head on.
And anything worth having was worth fighting for.
Friendship.
Success.
Happiness.
Love.
None of it came easy and there would always be slip ups along the way. Because life was messy and hard and it hurt sometimes.
But I was still here, and in my own way, I was fighting.
Every single day I got out of bed, I was fighting.
A knock sounded on my door. “Harleigh,” Celeste called. “We need to leave soon.”
“Almost ready.” I glanced at myself in the mirror.
The girl staring back at me was beautiful. She was strong. She was fearless. And yeah, maybe she was a little bit broken, but it was our scars that made us unique. That reminded us of where we’d been and how far we’d come.
Celeste shoved her head around the door and grinned. “I’m so proud of you.”
I frowned. “Thanks, I think.”
“I’m serious.” She came inside and closed the door. “You didn’t let yourself slip.”
“I’m not sure about that…”
“I can’t claim to know what it’s like for you, Harleigh, but I witnessed it. I was there. And I’ve watched you battle every day to get to where you are now. I know Mom and Dad both said some things—”
“Don’t.” My voice shook.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean… I know it’s hard. But you stood up to them and it didn’t break you. Be proud of that. Be proud of yourself. I am.” Celeste wrapped me into her arms. “You’re strong, Harleigh. Stronger than you give yourself credit for. And I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or the day after that, but I’ve been thinking.” She pulled away to look at me. “I think you should tell them.”
“Celeste—”
“Just hear me out, okay? It’s real, Harleigh. What you and Nix have, it’s real. And he’s never going to let you go, not again. I’ve seen the way he is around you. The longer you keep it a secret, the harder it’s going to be to tell them.”
“He threatened Nix, Celeste.” I gawked at her with disbelief.
“I know, but it was different then. You weren’t yourself and I honestly think he was trying to protect you. From Nix and from yourself.”
I tried to see you.
His words continued to haunt me.
“Maybe if you explained… maybe if he saw the two of you together—”
“I-I can’t do this right now. I need to focus on the game.” On Nix.