I nodded. My body singing for the reprieve I knew he could offer me.
“Atta girl.” He passed me the blunt. I glanced at Miles and Celeste, and they moved down the platform, sitting down to let their legs dangle over the edge. Nate did the same, patting the space next to him.
I dropped down, inhaling deeply on the blunt, letting the acrid smoke fill my lungs. It rolled through me, like a soft brush of a hand down my spine. Soothing. Comforting. Reassuring.
“Okay, okay, Maguire. Hand it back. We have all night.”
Our eyes collided and something passed between us. It wasn’t attraction or even friendship, but it was something. As if he knew what I needed because he needed it too.
My brows furrowed and I looked away, letting my gaze fall on the reservoir. At the vast stretch of water and the field and trees beyond it.
“Looks like your friends are partying,” Nate said quietly.
Sure enough, there was a bonfire on the other side of the lake, faceless people moving around, their shadows dancing around like demons in the night.
“They’re not my friends,” I whispered.
They never were.
Only Nix and the guys, and I guess Kye’s sister Chloe. But we were less friends and more two girls stuck in a world that we didn’t belong in.
For a second, I wondered if she was down there, partying with them. Getting drunk and making mistakes and being a normal seventeen-year-old. Nix wasn’t the only one who had abandoned me last year—they all had.
My chest constricted but Nate said, “You know, sometimes, I think I was born on the wrong side of town.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Sure, from up here it looked like a good time. It looked like a group of kids kicking back and enjoying their Friday night. But Nate didn’t know what it was like for them. The shit they were dealing with day in, day out. The pain and trauma and burdens they carried.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “That was a dickish thing to say.”
“It’s okay.” I glanced up at him. “Everyone has their own stuff going on, Nate, and I know that money doesn’t solve everything. It doesn’t make people happy. But life in Old Darling Hill is worlds apart from life in The Row.”
“This life carries its own burdens, Maguire.” A shadow passed over his expression, and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask what he meant. But Celeste’s laughter filled the air.
We both looked around at her and Miles sharing their own private joke.
“Something you want to share with the rest of us, Rowe?” Nate asked.
“No, no. We were just talking.” She hiccoughed. “Although this beer feels like it’s going straight to my head. Did anyone bring any snacks?”
Nate dipped his hand into his jacket and pulled out a box of Swedish Fish. “Don’t say I never give you anything.” He threw it to her, and she grinned.
“Maybe I was wrong about you, Miller.”
His eyes met mine, twinkling. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“What do you think they’re doing up there?” I said, staring up at the blanket of stars as I laid on the hood of Nate’s car.
We’d come down from the water tank earlier when I started to feel a little sick, but Celeste and Miles had decided to stay up there.
“If you have to ask, you probably don’t want to know.” Nate smirked. He’d retrieved a camping chair from his trunk. Just something he had lying around, he’d said.
“Celeste said she isn’t interested in Miles like that.”
“Haven’t you ever fooled around with someone you’re not interested in like that?”
I ducked my head, heat creeping into my cheeks and he chuckled. “Oh shit, you haven’t, have you?”