Wilder.
Wilder.
Wilder.
I was their star player, their idol, their favorite…
But it didn’t fill me with excitement anymore, it didn’t get my blood pumping, and my skin tingling. Something was missing.
Shewas missing.
And I didn’t feel whole anymore.
The entire upperclassmen of Darling Hill High including some ninth and tenth graders had made it out to the reservoir to party. It had taken almost ten minutes to fight our way through the amped crowd, all eager to rub shoulders with the Hawks. Hench and Kye lapped it up, especially when it came to the attention from the girls. But Zane and I had pushed ahead, eager to get to our usual positions next to the bonfire.
Sure enough, no one had touched our rickety old garden chairs. Zane dropped two six packs of beer on the ground and sat down. “This place is carnage.”
I surveyed the scene. Kids were already drunk or high, maybe even both. Dancing and goofing around on the vast stretch of derelict land next to the reservoir.
Zane handed me a beer and tipped his own bottle to where Kye had some girl pressed up against a tree. “He’s such a dog.”
“At least one of us is getting some.”
“Plenty of girls here would be willing to bounce on your dick.” Zane smirked, and I flipped him off.
“Not interested.”
“Let me guess, your dick don’t work right since finding out B is back.”
“Can we not do this again?”
“Fine.” He shrugged, leaning back in his chair. “So what do you think? Can we go all the way this season? Coach seems pretty certain we can.”
“I mean, it’s possible. The team is in good shape.”
“But…?”
“I don’t know, Z. I thought I’d want it. Senior year, our final season…”
“You always thought you’d be doing it with her by your side?”
I met his eyes, grimacing. It all came back to her.
Birdie.
My B.
“I took her for granted.” I let out a heavy sigh. “She was always there, no matter what, and I… fuck, I messed up.”
“It’s life, Nix. Shit happens and then you die.” He took a long pull on his beer. “If it bothers you that much, fix it. She’s across the res, not dead.”
I flinched at the honesty, and frustration, in his words.
“Nah, I need to cut her loose.” I stared at the hypnotic flames, watching them as they licked the inky sky. “Let her fly free.”
The Row had only ever clipped Birdie’s wings. She wasn’t made for a place like this. She wasn’t made for a guy like me. Besides, too much had happened between us.
“So that’s it? You’re gonna move on and forget about her? Just like that?” He snorted. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”