Folding my arms on the desk, I dropped my chin down and focused on my breathing. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.
At least, I hadn’t written about hurting myself. About the darkness that resided inside me, constantly fighting for a way out. That would have landed me a one way trip to the guidance counselor’s office.
And a whole heap of attention I didn’t want or need.
“What happened?” Celeste asked the second I met her outside of class.
“Nothing.” I shook my head, hoping she would leave it. But some guy said, “Nice poem, Maguire.”
“What—”
“It doesn’t matter.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her down the hall.
“Okay, are you going to tell me what that was about?”
“Mrs. Paulsen made me read my poem to the class.”
“So?”
“I didn’t realize she would do that when I wrote it. It was personal.”
“Personal how?” She frowned, stopping by her locker to trade some books.
“Doesn’t matter. At least it’s the weekend and I can lock myself away with a good book and not worry about school for forty-eight blissful hours.”
Celeste’s disappointed expression threw me off my conversation, and I asked, “What?”
“You really don’t remember, do you?”
“Uh…”
“Harleigh! You promised me and Miles you’d come to the fair tonight.”
Crap. Now that she mentioned it, I had vague memories of a conversation. But that happened a lot around Celeste and Miles. They made plans and I usually half-heartedly mumbled a reply.
But the fair?
That didn’t sound like my idea of fun.
“Mom and Dad have the mixer tonight, remember?”
“That’s tonight?” I really needed to pay more attention.
But the truth was, since seeing Nix I was finding it hard to concentrate, to stay grounded and in the moment.
I couldn’t help but search for him, half-expecting to see him watching from afar.
But I never did.
“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d want to be home for it so I suggested we could go to the fair with Miles, and you said—”
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
“For real?”
I nodded. It sounded a damn sight better than being forced to play nice with my father and Sabrina’s fancy rich friends.
“It’ll be fun,” she added with a smile.