“I can do that.”
I opened my jaw, trying to work out the stiffness, but the Vicodin made everything numb.
Zane shook his head at me, running a hand down his serious face.
“You need to lighten up, Washington. I almost had him.” Laughter spluttered out of me, a little raspy and wet.
“If you’ve cracked a rib, so help me fucking God, Nix…”
“It’s only bruising.” At least, I hoped it was.
“You’re a dumb asshole sometimes. After everything, she’s still—”
“Don’t.” Pain—a different kind of pain—shot through me. “Just… don’t.” I tipped my head back and closed my eyes.
“You can’t let this happen again, not now. Not after all this time. It’s senior year. We’re so fucking close, Nix. So fucking close. Tell me you get that, man? Tell me you won’t let—”
My eyes flew open right as my fist shot out, ramming into the back seat.
“She’s fucking inside me, Z.” Pain and frustration bled from every word. “Buried so fucking deep, I don’t know how to cut her out.” I reached over and grabbed his arm, despair rippling off me. “You have to help me, man. You have to make it stop.”
“We’ll figure it out, Nix. I promise.”
“You mean that?” My swollen gaze met his and I smiled weakly. “Because it’s been one day, and I already feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.”
Birdie was back.
She was back, but it wasn’t the same.
Nothing was anymore.
But what did I really expect?
They said you didn’t really understand what you had until you lost it. Well, I knew firsthand how true that statement was. But no one told you that it was more than just words and heartache.
It was visceral.
A physical alteration inside you.
A hole that over time festered and grew and turned into something ugly and rotten.
It was something that changed you so much that you were never the same again.