“But…why?”
“One of the professors adjudicating landed a last minute gig and can’t sit for the full number of auditions. The dean decided to focus on second years, since that’s who the showcase is for anyway.” Heshrugs.
Disbelief has my throat swelling, my chest tightening. This was my chance, the perfect opportunity to prove why I’m here and get noticed for my own talent, not myname.
“That’s bullshit,” I blurt. “Some of us need thischance.”
“I’m with you.” Finn holds the door for me, and I force myself to walk through. “Oh, one more thing— I’m gonna be gone the week after the showcase in November. Playing three gigs in LA and San Francisco. I could get you tickets if you’reinterested.”
I try to focus on his words, but I can’t bring myself to care, because my dreams are going up insmoke.
* * *
“This is where you hang out?”Rae cranes her neck from her spot in the booth to peer around the packed bar the nextnight.
Pen nods. “It’s mostly Columbiastudents.”
“There’s no stage,” Ellenotes.
Rae, Pen, Elle, and I are crowded around a booth Saturday night. I’m trying to enjoy the atmosphere, but it’s hard given I’m still reeling from the fact that all my work this semester—hell, for the last two years—will come tonothing.
I need this showcase to remind myself I made the right choice. That I’m at Vanier for a reason and that I have a chance of making it in this business on my ownmerit.
I glance toward the bar, catching a glimpse of the guy Pen’s seeing with Tyler, Beck, and a couple of guys from school. “Dave seems cool,” I say, forcing myself to think of myfriends.
“He is. I never thought I’d date an engineer. I always figured they’d betoo…”
“Cocky?”
“Reductionist.”
The guys at the bar are all objectively good-looking. Pen’s guy is cute and preppy, Beck’s got that “I’m hot and I know how to use it” look, but Tyler’s the most commanding, his Henley pulling tight over his shoulders and chest. He’s still the rebel prince, but he’s opened up. Whether he knows it or not, he’s let this place in, let Beck and the othersin.
Some girls interrupt the guys, talking and flirting, and my hand clenches around myglass.
“Oh, I wondered how long this would take,” Pendrawls.
Elle leans in. “What?”
I stare at my high school friend pointedly, but she waves meoff.
“Tyler and Annie goback.”
Rae narrows her eyes, and Elle scoffs, “This is newinformation.”
“Yes,Penelope,” Iwarn.
Pen holds up a hand. “Don’t try to scare me with your four syllables. I’m not talking out of turn here. Just saying you guys have some especially angstybaggage.”
My attention drags back to the girl smiling atTyler.
“She’s thinking about dragging that girl across the floor by her hair,” Rae deadpans. Elle laughs, and Pengrins.
I have no right to feel that way, but as we’ve rehearsed together over the past week, it’s gotten harder and harder not to feel something forhim.
“What’s he like in bed?” Elle asks, and I choke on mydrink.
“We never slept together,” I say when I stopcoughing.