I’m in a restaurant thirty feet from my family, and I’m soaked forhim.
It’s messed up, but I want this, so fuckingmuch.
More than that, knowing he’s here, a breath away, and that he wants ittoo…
It’s the biggest turn-on.
Trying to reconcile my former friend with the popular asshole I thought betrayed me with the one who’s in front of me isimpossible.
I give uptrying.
Tyler leans closer, his hair tickling my neck and his mouth a hot caress against the shell of my ear. “I could steal you out of this restaurant. We could take my bike and run away. Leave your dad, the assholes, theexpectations.”
I’m drowning. The wanting and craving and longing combine in a writhing mass of guilty need that expands to fill my entirebeing.
“But what happens then?” he murmurs. His touch falls away, and I nearly moan inprotest.
I blink once, twice, before the soft sound of footsteps on carpet alerts me to the woman making her return journey from the bathroom, steadfastly avoiding eyecontact.
“I hope you have a plan for then,” Tyler says once she’s past. “Because that’s where I getstuck.”
When I meet his gaze, I’m startled to see the fire behind his eyes is leashed oncemore.
The truth slams into me and leaves meaching.
He’s not asking for real—he’s proving apoint.
That even if I want him and he wants me, we can’t betogether.
In his world, wecan’t.
I take a deep breath, willing my heart to stop racing as I tug on my hem with one hand, smooth my hair with theother.
“We’d figure it out together,” I say, and the words come out surprisingly level. “Except you don’t wantto.”
I turn and head straight into one of the single-stall bathrooms, slamming the door hard enough the frameshakes.
12
Some moments seem destinedto remain mysterious even if you stop, rewind, replay them from a millionangles.
Until last night, my most recent was the moment the woman calling herself my mother approached me at Dad and Haley’s wedding, pressed that envelope into my hand with pleading eyes, and added to the uncertainty I’d always had about my place in thisfamily.
Now, it’s the scene in the hallway with Tyler that haunts me when I drive home after dinner alone. I stare out the window at the lights of the pool house for a long time before yanking the curtainsclosed.
After I close my eyes, I’m transported back to that hallway, remembering his sensual words, his searing touch, the look of pure desire on hisface.
Still, it’s the mask of regret and frustration as we stepped apart that stays withme.
I know if we get caught, my dad will lose his shit, maybe even send Tyleraway.
None of that explains why Tyler looked as if he’d betrayed himself by his words andactions.
Somehow, I fallasleep.
After grabbing a coffee in the thankfully quiet kitchen the next morning, I return to my room and shut thedoor.
In the top drawer of my desk, I find a familiar envelope. I run my fingers over the name on the front, the return address, as I have a hundredtimes.