“It’s fine. They don’t hurt.”
“It’s not fucking fine!” I roared. As I charged to my feet, the chair I’d been sitting in clattered to the floor.
She jolted, and I wanted to gut myself where I stood.
“Hell! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—I need a minute.” I took off out the back door and onto the deck. I headed down the steps and paced back and forth across the lawn. I’d kill him. Allen Kemper didn’t deserve to walk this Earth.
How was it that innocents like Jael, a woman who was only trying to help her son, were killed, but scum like Allen was allowed to live and terrorize others? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Had he brought one positive thing to this world?
I froze mid-step. Addie. He’d brought Addie into this world. She wasn’t the amazing woman she was because of him; she was this magical, beautiful creature in spite of him. But I couldn’t wish that he’d never existed. Then, she wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have her light and kindness and ferocity.
I stared up at the windows to the kitchen. Addie hadn’t moved. She sat staring into space, tears tracking down her cheeks.
I uttered a slew of curses and took off back up the stairs. She jumped as the door slammed closed behind me. I was in front of her in a breath, sinking to my knees and taking her face in my hands. “I’m so sorry. I needed—” I cut myself off. It wasn’t about what I needed right now. “I didn’t want to scare you, and I’m so damn mad. If he was here right now, I’d end him.”
Panic lit Addie’s hazel eyes, and she gripped my shirt. “No. Don’t let him make you like him.”
My heart cracked a little more. But it was a break I’d wear with honor. For the woman who wouldn’t allow anyone to twist her soul into something it wasn’t.
I moved in closer, nuzzling her neck and breathing her in. “He had the most precious gift, and he never saw it.”
Addie’s breath hitched. “Beckett.”
“You deserved so much better.”
“I’m getting it. I’m making that beautiful life now. And I’ll appreciate it so much more because of what I’ve been through.”
It wasn’t enough for me. It never would be. But I admired how Addie could view her past. I struggled not to hold her too tightly. The urge to burn the world down around me was too strong. I wasn’t good the way Addie was. I still wanted to start with Allen.
“Beckett,” she whispered against my ear. “I’m okay. It doesn’t hurt. The skin is ugly but—”
I reared back. “Nothing about you is ugly.”
Her cheeks flamed. “It is. It’s just facts. I don’t care. There are so many more important things.”
“Show me.” I was already climbing to my feet.
“W-what?”
“Show me.”
Addie stood shakily. “I don’t want you to see it.”
My gaze locked with hers. I poured everything I was feeling into that one look. “Please.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, searching my face for something. Then she nodded and turned around. Slowly, so painfully slowly, she unbuttoned her blouse. When she was done, she simply stood there, not lowering the shirt. Her ribs expanded and contracted in ragged breaths. Then she let the fabric fall to the floor.
Angry slashes crisscrossed her back. They were varying tones, shapes, and depths. In that moment, I knew Allen had done this to her over and over. My hands fisted so tightly I was in danger of breaking a knuckle.
I moved closer and then sank to my knees again. “It’s just me.” My hands went to Addie’s hips. She gave a slight jolt. I stilled. “You okay?” She nodded, the movement jerky, her breaths ragged. I slowly swept my thumb across a patch of raised skin. Then I bent forward, my lips going to the worst of the scars. I ghosted them over the flesh that had been torn apart but had come back together stronger than it had been before.
“Beauty in the strength that carried you through. Beauty in how you refused to be broken. Beauty that you never let yourself become cruel like him. Addie, there isn’t a thing about you that isn’t beautiful.”
30
ADDIE
I felt the brush of Beckett’s breath against my skin as he said the words. Each carved itself into my heart. Every one reclaimed that marred skin on my back, transforming it into something altogether new.