“Nothing.” Her pace quickened. “Just hungry.”
I grabbed Grae’s elbow, slowing her to a stop. “Grae Hartley, I’ve known you for my entire life, and I know when you’re lying to me.”
She shuffled her feet as I studied her. “We need to talk about Holt.”
I dropped Grae’s arm as if it were a branding iron. “We shall not speak his name. That’s the rule, remember?”
She’d tried at first, wanting so badly to fix what had been irrevocably broken. Then I’d started avoiding my best friend of forever, not answering her calls, making excuses for ducking out of plans. We’d finally been forced to come up with a ceasefire of sorts, and this was what we’d settled on.
Holt didn’t exist for me. I knew his family talked to him. Saw him, even. But they never mentioned his name in my presence. Until today.
Grae worried her bottom lip. “Emergency exemption requested.”
A lead weight settled in my stomach. “Did something happen to him?” The words came out in a rush of barely audible breath. I knew what he’d done when he left Cedar Ridge. He’d gone into the military. Then private security. Throwing himself into one risky situation after another, and all of them as far from home as he could get.
My heart hammered against my ribs as blood roared in my ears. Even though I hadn’t seen Holt in nine years and seven months, I still knew that he was here. On this Earth. Breathing. I’d have known if he weren’t. Some part of my soul would’ve registered it.
Grae blanched. “Oh, God, no. I’m sorry. It’s nothing like that.”
Relief blazed through me like an ice bath after third-degree burns. “What is it?” There was a snap of annoyance to my words. Anger surged at the reminder that no matter how much time had passed, I still cared.
Grae met my gaze, uncertainty filling hers. “He’s back.”