I raised my knee in a swift kick. I didn’t quite hit my mark, but I was close enough that Allen loosened his hold a fraction. I sucked in air, coughing. I lashed out, using my nails, my feet, whatever I could. Screaming as if the world was on fire because it was.
Allen let out a stream of curses as Beckett’s shouts grew louder. Allen punched out, the butt of the gun cracking across my cheek. Pain bloomed, bright and hot. Spots danced in my vision as my knees buckled.
“Oh, no, you fucking don’t. You stand. You’re gonna get me out of this. You always were worthless. But you’re at least good enough to use as a shield.”
He hauled me in front of him. He held me up by my throat with one hand and pointed the gun at my head with the other.
A figure crashed through the trees. As I took in Beckett’s face—so ravaged—I knew he loved me. I might not make it past today, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt the most amazing man I’d ever known loved me. It was the most precious gift I’d ever received. He’d taught me how worthy I was—simply for being my authentic self. He loved me in every incarnation as I found my way, and I knew he would love me in every one that followed from this day forward if we made it out of here.
“It’s over, Allen. Let her go.”
Beckett’s voice was even, but I saw the rage pooling in those blue depths. The kind of heat that would scar you forever blazed there.
Allen gave my neck a shake. “It’s not over. You’re gonna get my horse and let me ride out of here.”
“He can’t do that,” Hayes said as he stepped out of the trees, gun raised.
Allen cursed and started moving backwards into the pool of water. “You shoot me, and we both go.”
“Stop!” Hayes ordered.
Allen just kept moving backwards until we were more than waist-deep. I struggled against his hold, trying with all my might to break free. Nothing seemed to work. My limbs felt so heavy, as if they each weighed a thousand pounds.
Allen laughed. “She’s fading. I can feel it. Better get me that horse.”
“Let her go,” Beckett growled.
Allen’s laughter only intensified—a manic, feral sound eating up the quiet. “Death might be a worthy price to see you lose everything.”
Beckett’s gaze jumped from me to Hayes and back again. I didn’t look away. The cold seeped into me, making convulsions sweep through my body. “L-love you, Beckett.”
“Don’t say that. Not like this. Not like it’s goodbye.”
My mouth curved the slightest bit. “I know you love me, too.”
“I’m not saying it to you here. Not this way. I’ll tell you when you’re safe at home.”
Allen shifted us deeper into the water.
“Don’t move,” Hayes ordered, raising his gun higher.
“Say goodbye,” Allen hissed.
I closed my eyes and imagined Beckett’s arms around me. I swore I felt the warmth, the safety, the love. A shot sounded. The world around me shattered.
48
BECKETT
Everything slowed around me, and the world turned into heartbeats. Hayes fired; the shot so much louder than anything I’d ever heard. My head swiveled to Addie, but she and Allen were already falling.
I pushed off the sandy shore, running for the water. All I could think was that I had to get to her. I dove under, the water dark and murky. The cold stole the breath from my lungs, but I only kicked harder.
A fuzzy blur of something appeared ahead. I swam faster. Allen was sinking quicker than Addie, his eyes wide in a permanent expression of surprise. I grabbed Addie’s arm, tugging her to me. Her body was completely limp. No life in her limbs at all.
Pain shredded my chest. It wasn’t too late. It couldn’t be. This wasn’t how our story ended.
I swam to the surface, using only one arm and kicking as hard as possible. As we crested, I sucked in air. Hayes was there. Other shouts sounded from the shore.