“She left.”
Beckett stroked a hand up and down my back. “Life isn’t black and white. It’s not just shades of gray, either. It’s an endless array of colors. Some dark, some light, and everything in between. We have to hold space for all of it.”
“I haven’t wanted to. Every time a good memory popped up, I shoved it down.”
“You have to let those memories rise so you can truly grieve losing her.”
I traced some sort of design on Beckett’s side. “I know.”
“You get to decide the pace of it, though. When you’re ready, I’ll be here to sit with you in all the different colors that come up.”
I tipped back my head, staring into his beautiful blue eyes. “Thank you.”
“Always.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Want to finish these flowers?”
“Actually, I think I want to go see Cora. Maybe bring her some groceries.”
“Sure, do you want company?”
I shook my head. “I think it’d be better if I went alone.”
“You’re probably right.” He glanced at the truck. “You sure you’re up for driving by yourself?”
“You made sure I am.”
Beckett reached into his back pocket and pulled out his keys, dropping them into my palm. He gave me a stern stare. “No texting and driving, don’t play your music too loud, and never drink and drive.”
I couldn’t hold in my chuckle. “I do so solemnly swear.”
Beckett pulled me in for a hug, his lips pressing agains
t the top of my head. “Just remember, precious cargo.”
40
BECKETT
Dust flew as I pulled my bike to a stop in front of the ranch. I cut the engine and climbed off, removing my helmet. I left it balanced on the back of the seat and started towards the house.
Shy came down the front porch steps, scowling. “That thing is beyond ridiculous.”
I looped an arm around her neck and gave her a noogie. “Who are you calling ridiculous?”
She pinched my side. Hard. “Your way-too-loud, early mid-life crisis vehicle.”
“Ow, shit,” I yelped, releasing Shy. “You and Hads always were vicious with your pinching.”
Shiloh held up two fingers, making a pinching motion. “Just remember that next time.”
“I’ll have the scars to remind me.”
She sent me a grin, but it was all teeth.
I had the sudden urge to hug my sister but knew she wouldn’t welcome it. A noogie was one thing, but I hadn’t seen any of my family hug her in years. It never went over well if someone tried. I forced my gaze away from her and towards the house. “Mom inside?”
“Making apple pie.”
I rubbed my hands together. “I always have the best timing.”