“So very true.” I dumped my first pile of peppers on top of the greens. As I lowered my hands back to the cutting board, I caught sight of Shiloh on the back lawn that led to the pasture. Hayes’ dog, Koda, was by her side. I felt a kindredness to the woman. We both felt awkward in these social situations. Only Shiloh didn’t give a damn about any pretense. She simply went her own way, even if that meant walking off in the middle of a conversation.
As I brought my focus back to my current task, my gaze caught on Everly and Hayes. He had his arms wrapped around her from behind as they talked with Gabe. Every now and then, Hayes would press his face to Ev’s neck—the gesture a sweet reassurance that he was there and loved her unconditionally.
My eyes burned as I zeroed in on my cutting. Everly had found her home, in the last place she would’ve thought to find it. With the family whose daughter her father had kidnapped and almost killed. Yet, I’d never seen my cousin happier or more at peace.
I didn’t begrudge her that. She deserved happiness. I just hated that I hadn’t had the freedom to find mine.
My knife slipped as I tried to blink away the tears. I didn’t even feel the cut at first as a dump of adrenaline flooded my system. It was the blood that gushed from the wound that actually alerted me to the fact that I’d done real damage.
“Oh, Addie.” Julia was moving before I even realized what was happening, her hands encircling mine with a towel. “Beckett,” she yelled. “We need you.”
Her shouts drew everyone’s attention, bringing them all hurrying into the kitchen. The number of people in the space, their intense focus on me, was too much. My legs wobbled, and the world around me went a little blurry.
“What, Mom?” Beckett’s voice sounded annoyed as it got closer.
“Addie sliced her finger,” Julia gritted out, staring daggers at her son.
“Addie, are you okay?” Everly asked, panic lacing her tone.
Hayes pushed in behind her. “Maybe we should take her to the ER.”
Everly moved in even closer, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Too many people. Too close. And my finger was killing me. Black spots danced across my vision.
“All right, everyone out!” Beckett barked.
I jumped, the spots in front of my eyes worsening.
“Mom, let me take over,” Beckett said in a more even tone.
“Don’t you yell at Addie or me, young man.”
He carefully but firmly wrapped his hand around the towel and my finger. “Yes, ma’am.”
I winced at the motion.
“That hurt?”
I managed to give a barely perceptible nod.
“Think you can walk, or are you gonna pass out on me?”
“I-I can walk.” I would do anything to get away from the stares and all the people.
“Hads, will you get my kit? It’s under the sink in my bathroom.”
“You got it.”
Beckett slowly guided me out of the kitchen, through the open-plan living space, and to the other side of the house where the family room was. “Let’s sit you down.”
He lowered me to a couch in the family room. I hated the way I trembled. The fact that I couldn’t even get my body to obey me was a betrayal.
“Let’s take a peek.” Beckett unwrapped the towel and cursed. I looked away as soon as I saw all the blood. “You did a number on yourself, but I don’t see any cut ligaments or tendons, so that’s good. I don’t think you’ll need surgery—”
“No hospitals.” My uninjured hand whipped out and grabbed his arm. “Please.”
Beckett’s eyes widened. “I don’t think you need a hospital. I can get you fixed up right here.”
I released my hold on him, face flaming. “Sorry.”