Shiloh picked up tracing the circles on my palm again. “It gave you that empathy and understanding.”
I nodded. “I wouldn’t wish that away for anything.”
“I think that’s the best thing we can do with our pain, mold it into something that can help others in some way. It’s why I wanted to learn from you. I’m not good with people, but I thought maybe I could use the hurt inside me to help horses.”
An ache flared deep in my chest. “You have a way with them—with every animal I’ve seen you come across. But you’re not bad with people. Elliott went straight to you today when he needed comfort, and you gave it to him.”
“That’s different—”
“It’s not. Maybe you got into a rhythm with your family that kept them at arm’s length, but I see you trying to change that. I saw it today with Hayes. And he noticed the change, too.”
Shiloh toyed with the seam on the couch cushion. “I hate that I’ve hurt them so much.”
“They hurt you, too. Just because we love someone doesn’t mean we never hurt them. It’s pretty much a guarantee. Life happens. What matters is how you deal with it. You’re changing things, and that takes the most bravery of all.”
Shiloh’s eyes glittered in the low light. “I’m trying. I want…I want things to be better.”
“One foot in front of the other. That’s all you can do.”
“Just take the next step.”
“That’s right.”
I just hoped like hell it didn’t take her away from me.
“Go,”Shiloh ordered for the third time. “Kai and I will be fine here. I’m going to exercise a few of the horses in the south paddock and then get cleaned up for dinner with Hadley.”
I hated the idea of leaving Shiloh alone. Not because she couldn’t handle things but because we’d been through a lot yesterday. I knew we were likely both feeling a little raw. Yet Shiloh had called her sister this morning and made dinner plans, taking that next step. I needed to take mine.
“Okay. I shouldn’t be too long. I’m just picking up lunch and going to hang for a little bit.”
Shiloh smiled. “Take as much time as you need. And give Aidan and Elliott hugs from me. If they don’t want Aidan working here after school, I’ll go visit them tomorrow.”
I hoped that wasn’t a rule the Millers would set. Working here had been good for Aidan. Had given him a sense of accomplishment that he desperately needed.
“You could come with me…” I was sure the boys would love to see Shiloh, a part of me hated the feeling of walking away from her, even just for an afternoon.
She toed a piece of gravel with her boot. “I think they need you right now. You’ve been where they are, and they know you understand. I don’t want to overwhelm them when they’re still settling in or ruin a chance for them opening up if they need to talk.”
My chest constricted as I stared down at this miracle of a woman, one who put the boys first when I knew she would’ve given anything to see them this afternoon.
She was close. So much so that I caught a hint of that floral scent that clung to her skin. I blamed it for my stupidity, for leaning in and closing the distance between us and pressing my lips to her forehead. It was the barest touch, and only for the briefest of moments, but the feel of her skin burned through me like a wildfire.
I jerked away, knowing I’d be scarred forever. “They’re lucky to have you.”
The pink that hit Shiloh’s cheeks only made her look more beautiful, and I knew I was screwed. She cleared her throat, staring at her boots. “I’m the lucky one.”
I twisted my keys around my finger, gripping them tightly, and then moved towards my truck without another word. I needed a little distance, some space to get my head back on straight before I started panting after her like my dog.
I beeped the locks and climbed behind the wheel. As I drove down the lane, I couldn’t resist a glance in my rearview mirror. I saw her bent over Kai, giving him a rubdown.
“Damn lucky dog.”
The drive to town didn’t take too long, but images of Shiloh played in my mind the whole way. She was a living ghost, haunting my every waking moment. So much for the space helping.
I pulled into the small parking lot outside the burger joint, a favorite of locals and tourists alike. Thankfully, tourist season hadn’t hit yet. Once it did, I stayed far away.
I slid out of my truck and shut the door. As I beeped my locks, movement caught my eye. I recognized the swagger, the cocky walk that had an air of anger to it. The expression on his face held nothing but rage.